About making my blog private

I’ve been having a long, hard think about this blog, about my reasons for blogging and what I get out of it.

Let’s be honest. Most of us that blog (myself included) do it because, deep down, we love the attention/crave feedback/need someplace safe to vent. We thrive on the comments and the collective outrage when something goes wrong. Some people even make shit up, post terrible anonymous comments on their own blogs or re-publish old posts because they need the traffic it will generate or because people weren’t outraged enough first time around. (sadly, this is true)

I specifically chose not to make the blog commercial, instead opting to write when I want and what I want. (I won’t bore you with the standard “I don’t have enough time anyway” excuse). It’s not important how many people visit the site or how many comments are left, although I do love them. What’s always been important is to be true, honest and authentic, and right now I can’t be those things because I have no control over who is reading. There is a post about religion sitting in my drafts FOR A YEAR I haven’t had the guts to post lest I offend too many people. That post (and then some) is like that stupid piece of Lego you step on in the middle of the night, a constant reminder that I’m not entirely authentic anymore.

The other reason I blog is to leave memories for our children, but somewhere along the line the lines got blurred between wanting to write good content and leaving a trail of shiny stones for the kids about the beautiful triviality of everyday life in our house and the awesomeness of who they are and how much we treasure them.

Lately there has been a lot that I haven’t been able to talk about, not because things aren’t well, but because I feel too exposed. More and more I find that people know everything about my life because they read it on my blog and I know nothing about theirs. It has an impact on my friendships, it has become disconcerting when I meet new people and they say “So glad you managed to sort X and X out, I read about it on your blog. Oh, and nice to meet you”. Or, even worse, they’ve read my blog, have already put me in a box and don’t tell me. That freaks me out just a little.

It is however fantastic when I meet someone and they say “thank you for talking about X, it made me face XYZ”. When I have those conversations I’m blown away that I had a positive impact on someone’s life.

But is it enough?

Sadly not.

I’m sick of spam.

I’m sick of being someone’s punching bag.

I surround myself with people that are positive, interesting and brave in real life, why should I let random trolls on the Internet (and above is not the only example) upset me. So what if I like making pretty things and not being a good Mom/Wife causes me endless anxiety. The rude comments cause me more anxiety, they must go. Not because I don’t value feedback and cannot handle criticism, but because there’s no need to be a doos about it.

Lastly and absolutely the most important reason: Our children are very adept at Google, especially Daniel. He asked me recently what he would find if he Googled me and I told him that he would find a blog where I write about how much I love him and the Sussies. But there comes a time when you can’t talk about your children as openly as you used to, it’s not fair to them.

So. I’m making this blog private, I’m taking it out of the public eye. Going solar, off the grid.

If you want to continue reading I’m happy to invite you to read and you will receive a notification when I do post something, but I will no longer be publishing to Social Media and I’m unsubscribing everyone that is currently subscribed.

Just leave me a comment from the email address you want to use and I’ll set it up, otherwise request from the page that will come up when you visit the site from Friday.

So long, and thanks for all the fish.

 

65 thoughts on “About making my blog private”

  1. Me! Pick me! Over here… Yoo hoo!

    I understand though it’s part of the reason I,took,a break and startedna very new fresh one. But this new blog, I can share, because I’m writing for the boys, for the reasons you listed above.

    I’m glad you had a public blog and a social media presence. Without it, I would never have come across/discovered/met you. And you’re pretty awesome!

    xoxo

  2. I hear you and respect your reasons for going private. If you don’t mind, please take me with you. As Tamiya said, I’m glad you had a blog with a social media presence because otherwise I would never have got to know you.

  3. What you said about feeling exposed is precisely why I stopped blogging. I’m far more open when I write than any place else. I hated random people making mention of situations in my life out the blue because they had read what to me was intended as a sort of online journal for me and the people who live in my computer 🙂
    Good reasons Tanya x

    1. Thanks Caz, but if it’s important for you to write you should continue to do so, it’s really good for the soul. Even if you do it privately 😉
      I’ll add your name to the list?

  4. Liewe Tania

    Ek respekteer jou besluit, en verstaan 100% jou denkpatroon, tog kan ek nie vir jou sê hoe ek voel as ek sien daar is n nuwe post van jou in my inbox nie. Jy het ‘n ongelooflike gemaklike skryfstyl en het my al baie gehelp met alledaagse probleme.

    Ek los nooit ‘n comment nie, omdat ek so bang is jy dink ek kom in jou spasie, maar ek luv jou blog en hoop ek kan nog deel wees daarvan.

    Groete
    Anel van Putten ( Truhann van der Poel se vrou…….)

    1. Ai, hoe lekker kry ek nou ‘n knop in my keel Anel, baie dankie vir jou mooi woorde, ek sit jou naam op die lys!

  5. I understand. Pls include me to receive your private blog … I love your posts.

    Some of my best words was when I was bleeding and vulnerable … It is what makes us special!!! Be special!

    Already looking forward to the next read,
    Regards
    Collette!

  6. me too? I know we’ve only met each other once, but pretty much everything you’ve said here and on social media makes sense to me.

    1. We’ve known each other for AGES Janine, these days you don’t have to live in each other’s pockets to be friends! Thank you

  7. Wat jy sê maak baie sin, soos altyd! Ek love jou blog want jy is vrek snaaks. Altyd. Jy laat ons stock neem van ons eie lewens. Jy sê goed wat baie van ons (wat nie kan skryf of ‘oopmaak’nie) nie sommer kan sê nie. Respect, girl!

    1. That’s such high praise coming from someone I respect as much as you, will add you to my list Kitchen Master 😉

  8. I think you’re making a wise decision – I cannot believe ( regarding social media in general) how total strangers seem to think that they have the right to judge and say judgemental things. Shut them out I say!!!!! I would love to continue reading – you give an honest perspective that I find so refreshing, and often mirrors my opinion. Keep going – do it your own way!!!!!

  9. I totally understand where you are coming from. I think that’s why i am not on social media much especially due to my job which offends hundreds and thousands of people. xxx

  10. Yes please! I love reading about your life as a mum in SA, which is so different yet similar to mine as a mum in the uk!

  11. I have had my “to go private or not” blog post running around in my head for ages now! May post it today.

    (oh please add me)

    1. Will do Cat, I think it was that last conversation with you that made me take the leap, thank you!

  12. Dit is altyd lekker om jou blog te lees. Jy het ‘n baie interessante manier om dinge op skrif te stel. Dit lees lekker.

  13. This is the main reason why I decided to rather make my blogs private, and now totally deleted it off the net, one, it was unfair to my hubby to talk about OUR IVF journey and two, people just had way too many opinions and nasty little comments hidden behind a scaly name about a journey they had no clue about, so ja, for now, my blogging is stagnant, but in the future I might restart a new one.

    If you wish, could I please follow your awesome life with your beautiful family?

    My e-mail carneiro.natasha@gmail.com

    1. At least I can still find you on FB Leigh-Ann 😉
      Name on list? (no pressure, not wanting to make assumptions..)

  14. Liewe Tania
    Ek het nou amper ‘n hartstilstand gehad toe ek sien jy gaan verdwyn. Jou blog is die eerste een wat ek elke keer uitkies uit my heeltemal-te-lang blog lys. Dan lê ek in die middel van die nag en probeer my lag sluk sonder om vir Danie wakker te maak. (Die Kingsize bed storie en vele ander). Net om nie te slaag nie en dan uiteindelik die hele ding vir hom te lees terwyl ek trane afvee soos ek lag. Baie keer sommer lag en huil deurmekaar, want jy som ons almal se lewens so perfek op. Soveel beter as wat ons dit ooit sal kan sê. Ek het ook altyd gevoel ek wil eerder nie jou ‘space invade’ deur kommentaar te lewer nie – jammer as ek verkeerd was.
    Kan ek groot asb saamkom?
    En ja, ons is reg vir die ‘religion’ een wat in die mandjie lê. As dit is wat ek vermoed dit is gaan jy verbaas wees hoeveel mense is reg vir hom. Gooi hom, ons sal vang.
    Is ok as ek nie genooi word nie, wil net graag dankie sê dat ek kon deel wees.
    Groete
    Liezel Falck van Chameleons

    1. Jy sal nooit my space invade nie Liezel, nou is dit ons “spesiale” plekkie om op te vang, maar daar is geen druk nie.
      Baie dankie vir jou mooi woorde, ek is skoon aangedaan 🙂

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