And then, strangely, there was no guilt

It’s official.  I have turned into *that* Mother that sends her children off to mid-week children’s parties with the Au Pair.

It’s been a long time coming, but after the last time I took leave so I could take Daniel to a party and the Moms were all talking about how terrible aftercare is for children and I just thought: This isn’t for me, I don’t belong here.

No more will I force myself to take leave I could have saved up to spend time doing something more valuable with my kids.

No more will I feel like I’m eavesdropping on conversations I have no business listening to about things that happen in the day when I am at work.

No more will I compound my own guilt at not being to linger in the school parking lot or over coffee with a friend in the middle of the day.

No more will I try too hard to fit in with Moms that, practically speaking, will not ever be great friends.  Not because they aren’t lovely people, there just isn’t time.

No more will I compromise the little time I do have with Etienne and the kids.

No more.




If you are a SAHM Mom I want to say this: I am extremely grateful for your generosity with your time and wanting to help out at school, serve on PTA’s, decorate classrooms for special occasions, carting other people’s children around and work in the tuck shop.

Your children will love you for spending time next to the sports field and I and my children thank you for updating me what they are doing when I’m not there to see them roll in gymnastics or play rugby.

You have a really thankless job, so I want to say THANK YOU.

Just for in case no-one has said it lately.

Thank you.


12 thoughts on “And then, strangely, there was no guilt”

  1. Lovely post. Guilt has no place in any mom’s life – we all do the best we can with what we have. I’m glad for you that you have found peace 🙂

  2. Guilty just seems to be something that happens to moms the moment babies are born. It is really pointless. We all do the best we can with the circumstances we have. The end.

  3. The sad thing is that it is strange to feel no guilt! Yay for you for not judging yourself or other mums for your/their parenting choices. BTW neither of my children have ever been to a mid-week birthday party. I didn’t know they existed! A late afternoon party on a F

  4. =riday was the closest we’ve ever come to that. (Must have hit enter before I finished my sentence.)

  5. We never have mid week parties in school term – maybe Friday afternoon which I sometimes do and sometimes dont. But I do try to get to some sports stuff – luckily I am the great position of being the boss so I guess I can.

  6. Good for you 🙂

    Fortunately our demographic is such that mid-week parties have never really taken off. Even though I stay at home I would never schedule one of my kids parties during the week because then D would need to take off, grannies would need to take off, friends would too – it’s not practical.

    When you have more than one child you simply can not be every where so even when you stay at home sometimes you have to say no or send the kid with a friend or whatever!

  7. I never felt guilty about putting in tons of hours at work to make a better life for my family. And I agree with you about taking time off to take the kids to parties; I’d rather save the time off for things like vacations and holidays where I can give 100% of my time to the family.

    How inconvenient to have a children’s party mid-week! eek!

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