Bad dreams and play dates

I know.  If I was any kind of Mother by now I would have downloaded all  the pics from the girls’ party on Saturday and already posted them here, but I haven’t.  So there.

Their 5th birthday party was on Saturday morning and I literally woke up in a puddle of drool from a nap on Saturday afternoon, I was THAT tired.  What an epic nap that was after a party that I was very happy with. It wasn’t Pinterest Perfect*, but it was perfect for us and our kids had an absolute ball.

Sunday morning was brunch with the Whine Club girls and Sunday afternoon we went to see Koos Kombuis at Backsberg.  It was really cool to be somewhere without proper cellphone signal so I was forced to pack my phone away and it was so relaxing just lolling around on the grass with the kids. We could listen to music, drink some lovely wine and just “be” with the kids and the lovely family that went with us. No rush to finish supper, tidy a kitchen or worry about feet on the couch.

I had such an overwhelming sense of peace on Sunday evening.  You know those odd moments when you stand outside your life for a minute and realize OMG, this is it.  This is my life and it is just grand, I wouldn’t exchange it for anything else.  I love those moments, I live for those moments and try to replicate them as often as I can.

So imagine my surprise when I didn’t sleep much on Sunday night thanks to some dodgy sushi and battled to fall asleep last night again, only to wake up from a horrible dream that Daniel had died.  I swear I was crying in my sleep, it was really very upsetting.

I wonder where that came from?

Then I would like to ask: some of the lovely Moms (that we met for the first time on Saturday) want to do play dates with the girls, but offered to pick up the girls either from school or our house during  working hours.  I felt a little awkward as they are really lovely people and I initially didn’t get that they were inviting my children only, so I kept suggesting Saturday mornings until it dawned on me that the invite was for the girls only.  I’m just not comfortable sending my kids to people’s houses that I don’t know very well/I haven’t been to myself (that entire sentence should read “we” as Etienne agrees btw), but I also don’t want to seem ungracious and alienate the Moms as we will be together for the next 12 years.  I also don’t want to be labeled as “that difficult Mom”, but I’m just not comfortable and I may or may not have taken it just a tad personally that I wasn’t invited either because I’m of the “the-more-the-merrier” persuasion. As far as I’m concerned our house can always be filled with people.

What do you think?  How do I handle the situation with tact and grace?

ps: If I was under any illusion that I really wanted to have that last baby I keep begging Etienne for I changed my mind in the last 2 days as I DO NOT cope well without sleep. I a walking disaster breaking things and knocking my toes blue.

* Pinterest Perfect = those wonderful things you see on Pinterest that you so desperately want to copy but just never seem to get quite right.  I totally made that up.

7 thoughts on “Bad dreams and play dates”

  1. My mom used to make everyone come to OUR house. This way I still felt like part of the gang, my friends were always over and only later did I realise my mom did it this way, not because she loved a messy house always filled with other people’s kids, but rather to protect us without us even knowing it. I intend to do the same with my kids! It won’t work forever, but hopefully until I feel comfortable enough with the other families, for my kids to go and visit them 🙂

    1. I’m on the same page as your Mom and it was the same for me growing up. We have always said that we want to create the kind of home where kids would be comfortable to visit and then at least I know exactly where my kids are!

  2. Why not invite the kiddies and the moms over for a mom and daughter tea? You can then get to know them better and the girls could have their playdat at your house. Then maybe arrange playdate later with only kiddies coming over to your house? Just suggestion… I am never comfortable with my kiddies going to other people’s homes (not including my mom’s)… Our house will be the “gathering camp” for all the friends (already is with Shaun’s friends).

    Love the “Pinterest Perfect” (how clever of you)… No matter how hard I try, never get it like the pics on Pinterest…

  3. I always get to know the family before I send my girl alone (btw the boys have not been to a friend alone as yet) After grade 1 we knew a lot of girls and their parents and I have been ok with most invites. But we also tend to steer on the safer side. Why not just admit that you would just like to get to knwo them a bit better and invite them over first (or meet somewhere?)

    1. None of our kids have ever been to a playdate by themselves, so this is unchartered territory for me entirely. I’m not very tactful in real life and I’m scared that whatever comes out of my mouth would alienate the Moms 🙂

  4. I think they may be a little young still but it does have to happen eventually 🙂 Why not make friends with the moms first – suggest tea on a saturday and figure out which ones you can get to trust!

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