Day 8 – Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

I have really dragged my feet towards this post. Partly because I have this whole thing about not giving other people the power to make you feel like shit and partly because I refuse to be a victim and be all whiney about how ‘horrible’ someone was to me.

And then I took some time thinking about people that have I have allowed to treat me like shit because I didn’t value myself enough or because I have overcompensated in a work environment because I’ve had a reputation for being too straight forward.  So I allowed an individual to be that person.  But that is, thank goodness, no longer relevant.

There is, however, someone that treated me like shit recently and it caused the demise of a long-standing friendship that was probably in danger for a while.  I suspect this person thought I did something heinous to deserve this, I seriously have no idea what it was, which is what makes her behaviour even more baffling and hurtful.

She stabbed me in the back, belittled me and a much loved family member in a room full of other people on several occasions and then proceeded to unfriend ME and my husband on Facebook.  I appreciate that she has gone through a really difficult time in her life in the last year which she refused me to support her through, in fact, she used me as an emotional punching bag for a very long time and got very upset with me when I called her on it.  

So, in a way, when we got put together in the same room in a professional (snort) environment, she probably felt it was payback time. But she has caused enormous unhappiness and stress through her conduct to me and someone I love deeply and for this I am really angry.

I hate ignoring people in public, I think it’s juvenile and I don’t have the time or energy to do it, but I have had to ask myself if this person should have access to my life in any shape or form.  The answer is a resounding NO.

Do I miss my friend?  

You bet.  I mourn the loss of this friendship. I am incredibly sad.

Would I do anything to change the outcome?

No.  I choose to move on.  There are so many other people in my life that allow me to love them and love me in return, why should I hold on to an “abusive” friend?

13 thoughts on “Day 8 – Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.”

  1. You say ignoring someone in public is juvenile. I say that when you have so many no answers regarding another person’s actions and behaviour and importance in you life then they must be cut out.

    It gives you the control and takes away opportunities for this person to continue treating you in this way.

  2. Iets nou die dag gelees wat nogal vir my laat na dink het: Elke persoon is verantwoordelik vir wat hy toelaat in sy lewe. Indien iemand nie ‘n goeie invloed of harmonie in jou lewe inbring nie is dit jou plig om daardie persoon uit jou lewe te sluit. Dit is die enigste manier wat jy volle verantwoordelik vir jou omstandighede kan neem. (Vry vertaal :D)

  3. It must be painful to lose a friendship like this, especially as you have no clue what your perceived “crime” was! But I’m so glad you have chosen to end it and move on. You have taken your power back and she can’t abuse you anymore. Good for you!

  4. Stem 100% saam met Sumanda,LL en Deids. It’s for the best and good for you that you move on.

  5. Why is it that those that we love the most always have the most power to make us feel like shit hey? Maybe you will always miss your friend, and just maybe after time has passed (maybe lots of it, even years in this case!) things will look different to you both and you will be friends again.

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