I would love to tell you how horrible my in-laws are and how they make my life a living hell.
But they aren’t. They are perfectly nice older people. In fact, my FIL will be 80 in January and my MIL not far behind. Not many people know how far behind though, her little secret..
But, as all people of their advance age, they have their little quirks. And I try not to let MIL cook.
Tonight they were over for a braai and brought dessert.
MIL is losing her hearing, so having a conversation is always interesting. They have to putt a new carpet in their bedroom as they have finally worn theirs out after 35 years. So I was saying to MIL, why don’t you put down that click-flooring, it is easy to maintain. And I waited for a response. I could see she knew I had said something, but she wasn’t quite sure what I had said. So she nodded. Sagely.
So I repeated myself. And watched. Same thing. This time with a sigh and a “Ja, we’ll definitely get those carpets”. And my FIL just puts his hand in front of his face and laughs. It is funny and frustrating at the same time. She refuses to get a hearing aid because she has a friend that has one that hates it. So she won’t even go for a hearing test. Talk about denial.
So, we make it through supper and I take the pre-baked pudding out the oven where we had heated it. When they arrived I noticed little white flecks on top that looked like a mix between crumbed feta and ground almonds, but I couldn’t quite make it out. So, as I’m done dishing for everyone and putting the first bite in my mouth I ask what the white goodies on top is. And they look at each other and giggle nervously. Margarine they say. Sorry, the stuff wouldn’t melt. And I’m thinking, OMG, my children and I have just consumed shite a molecule away from plastic.
And then my children all demand seconds of course. I hope they don’t turn into Barbie and Ken overnight…