Keeping it real

real_logoI know you’re not meant to care what other people think of you, but I do sometimes wonder. Over the last 2 days we’ve had people over to the house that have never been there before.

Both days these people arrived at the time that is typically that one hour that supper is being cooked and the kids are lolling around the kitchen, playing computer games or are comatose on the couch.  We aren’t big on television (I didn’t even have it on for myself at night when Etienne was away last week), but it occurred to me that people might wonder if our kids watch a lot of television or spend their lives behind computers. The thought mortifies me.

I wonder about that snapshot of what people see of our lives at that specific time of day and the impression it leaves.

Yes, I know it doesn’t really matter; it’s just a random thought.

For example:

There is a Mom that drops off her son at about the same time as Etienne drops off the girls in the morning and apparently she shouts at her boy every morning.  That is the snapshot that people see of her, but I wonder if maybe that child doesn’t keep her up at night and she’s just gatvol by 8am in the morning.  Maybe I’m just the eternal optimist.

That Mom that raises her voice in the shops?  Maybe she is a single parent and has no support structure. Or she is like me and has had it with stroppy kids.

The person that appears so cherished and loved online?  Maybe her husband is a right asshole and gambles away all their money on a regular basis.

The person that is always complaining about her weight?  Maybe she also has an idiot husband that doesn’t treat her like the princess she’s meant to be treated and he tells her she’s fat, even though she is absolutely perfect.

The friend that avoids talking about having children?  Maybe she knows her husband is cheating on her and she’s not ready to decide if she wants to ignore it or leave him.

I wonder about the image we try to portray, what we think we put out there for people to see, what we think people see and what people really see.

I wonder about how people’s own hang-ups make them jump to conclusions about other people.

Do you think what you put out there is “the real you”?

Does it have to be?

The answer for me is YES, purely because I would forget what I said, duplicity is just too much like hard work for me, but I have become a lot more careful about what I say and how I say it over the last few years.  I think being online has helped with that, you are forced to think about what you say and take the knee out of jerk.

If you know what I mean.

What do you think? If you had to meet everyone you engage with online do you think that they would see what you portray or do you have a different persona?

I’m not saying there’s a right or wrong, I’m just curious.

6 thoughts on “Keeping it real”

  1. I’m dying to know what ppl think of me lol. I’m always just me. but someone once accused me if being “chilled” with my kids. rofl!! sigh., anyway xx

  2. Cheese and sprinkles!
    I certainly hope that I’m real and come across that way both IRL and online.
    So far all the people I’ve met IRL have come across just like they do online. They’re all lovely.

    I worry that when people meet me or engage with both online and IRL that they’ll be disappointed. Somehow many think that I’m either a freak or a hero. When actually I’m just a regular mom 🙂

  3. Yeah I think so. Like you I forget things so easily and I really don’t have the time to say things that aren’t happen now. Also David reads my blog and tweets so I can’t really be posting rubbish or he would have me committed :-p

    I have met a few people who are nothing like they are online!

  4. Think I agree with you, being online, and being “watched” by so many people has made me understand what is real and not about myself, and I can’t actually not be real.
    however, I do worry about whether people who pass me in the shops wonder about my parenting style 😉

  5. I agree with you…it is always interesting for me when I meet someone in-person that I first met online…I wonder if I will live up to their expectations…and, while I try to remain free of judgment, I do wonder if their ‘real’ self will be the same as what I see on the web…what you see is what you get with me; it always has been…now that I am writing and blogging, I don’t know if that is a positive or a negative…but, it is what it is. Great post.

  6. I love this post – there have been a few people i’ve met IRL who were VERY different to how they put themselves out in virtual reality. As for me, I believe I am the same IRL and online. I don’t have time or the energy to try project something I’m not.

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