On Self-Fat Shaming

Tertia posted this update on Facebook and it really made me think (which is kinda obvious otherwise I wouldn’t have taken the time write a post about it, but hey)


This may come as a shock, but I have some body issues. Admittedly, they are a lot less than they were before I turned 40, which I highly recommend by the way, it’s AWESOME. I gained a lot some of the weight I lost last year back in the last 6 months as happens when you are stressed and eat toasted cheese and tomato sarmies for breakfast on the run too often.

The funny thing is, I don’t really care about the weight as much as I would have once. After some serious introspection I realised I was worried about what The People say and how I am judged. “Oh look, haha, she lost all that weight last year and she gained it all back, hahahahaha”. Ja, I’m over it now that I understand where my own Fat Shaming comes from. Judge away, I don’t care. No really, I couldn’t give a shit.

I tried casting my mind back over conversations with our children regarding body shape and weight and I honestly can’t remember deliberately putting myself down as I am sensitive to it thanks to the Internet.

But some things stand out for me:

  • I may or may not have a habit of dashing through the house in the mornings in a less-than-dressed (read:naked) state. The other morning one of the girls pointed at my wobbly middle bits and said “Mom! Look at your fat tummy!” and all I could think of to say was “Yes, but remember that you and your sister were in there at the same time and Daniel before that, so I don’t mind at all” I still felt a bit hurt, even though it was true.
  • The girls were recently chatting about eating chips and sweets at school and were telling us how Child X’s Mom (who is very, very thin) doesn’t let her eat any chips as “she will get fat and then she will have to go on a diet”. The child is a beautiful little 5 year old girl and my heart aches.
  • Children eavesdrop. They pick up stompies* and lately strange things have been parroted back to us by our own children that they overheard. I shudder to think what they’ve heard me say before I became aware of it.

We are ALL responsible for what we tell our children as our children talk to other children. A little of their innocence was taken away and it’s really not acceptable to be talking to your 5 year old about diets and getting fat (in my opinion). We told the girls to go back and tell their friend that a little chips or sweeties every now and then is ok and that it’s better to be healthy because then you feel happy.

All that is important to us is in the end is that they are happy well-adjusted kids, not pin-heads that count every single calorie that goes into their bodies.

That they love and be kind to their bodies, warts and all.

* picking up stompies is slang for “hearing half a story and jumping to conclusions”

Related: I should really stop saying Shit and Fuck. “coughs”

3 thoughts on “On Self-Fat Shaming”

  1. Wow, that was beautiful. Such an important lesson to learn and thanks to you I will always remember this. I have twin boys, but in today’s society even men fall prey to this horrible self-abuse.

    Loving your posts…

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