Pardon me whilst I have a moment

Please tell me if I am mad or being taken for a ride!
We have 2 domestic staff, 1 for the 3 children (travels in every day) and 1 for the house primarily and to assist with the kids in the avie (live-in).  They are both lovely and a real asset to our family.  Daniel goes to school half day and the girls are at home.

I actually hate telling people I have 2 domestics, it’s really not because I’m spoilt, its the only way we manage and it actually was the cheaper option at the time.

I don’t think that we are “snoep”, they are very well paid and well fed, the nanny goes to the clinic once a month and to get grant money also once a month – this is 2 days that she comes in late that we don’t deduct money, but it impacts on our jobs.  They each received a 13th cheque in December, even though I probably won’t get a bonus this year and hubby might get a “tip” in April.

We cook supper every night and feed the live-in and leave a full meal for the day-nanny for the next day.

A couple of examples of things that are annoying me at the moment:

A while ago I posted a choc cake recipe that has Amazi in.  I had some Amazi left and said they could use it, I’ll get them some mealie meal.  I then buy the mealie meal and get told its not the right brand, I have to buy another, more expensive brand.  The next day I had Amazi and mealie meal on the shopping list.  The next week I get a request for the 2 litre Amazi as the 500ml is not enough.  They cook HUGE bowls of the stuff and eat it for lunch.  It has now transpired that the nanny eats the meat we cooked the night before FOR BREAKFAST.

We also always make sure that they have Oros in the house and this used to last about a month.  I then get a request for “Wild Island” – almost double the price.  We buy a bottle.  A week later it is finished and its back on the shopping list.

The amount of milk, sugar, cereal, chutney, tomato sauce, tea etc we go through is also astounding.  I bought a box of oats for my diet which they asked if they could use yesterday morning and almost half the box is gone!

The rule is that they can watch tv in the afternoons whilst the kids are sleeping, but no tv otherwise because I don’t want my kids exposed to so much tv, not because I’m being funny.  I get home a little earlier the other avie and the tv is on.  Needless to say I switched it off immediately.

Whenever there is anything left we give it to the nanny that travels as she has children at home and is the sole breadwinner.  Whenever I come across a sale I buy something for each of their kids – 4 kids in total.  It’s almost as if the nanny that doesn’t travel eats only when she is with us and not at home, hence the overeating.

I’m just reaching the stage now where I think it is getting out of hand, but as a working mother you are so guilt ridden and I almost feel like I am held at ransom and have to deliver what they want.  I think I’m quite a generous person, but at the moment I think they are taking the piss.

I also wonder whether I don’t maybe, on some level, resent them for being able to be with my babies the whole day whilst I have to work.

Any suggestions on how I can deal with this or even whether I am just being silly??

6 thoughts on “Pardon me whilst I have a moment”

  1. Domestics can take advantage of you especially if they feel that you are well off. You must set rules in your home if they use up what you have given them the they must get their own. Buy Oros if they don’t want it they must buy their own Wild Island, not to be mean but we all work for our money and they too have to understand that.

  2. I think they are taking you for a ride!!
    If you do take them on you will probably have to find alternative care for your babies. I am sure anything else will work out less expensive. One tends to feel guilty but you can’t allow them to abuse you. Maybe have a chat and if they accept it fine if they don’t and become vindictive, cut your losses and move on. You have to make rules and stick to them.

  3. Our domestic has bread & jam for breakfast – definitely not meat! that’s a bit overboard! She also gets leftovers from the night before for lunch – again with bread. She drinks water & tea.

    I think you must talk nicely about the current economic climate! But I know how you feel – you’re scared to fight in case they take it out on your babies!!


  4. My domestic helper and Angel Baby’s nanny is worth more than gold to me. They are part of my family and my home (kitchen, grocery cupboard, fridge)are always open to them. Unconditionally.

  5. I totally understand your frustration and the turmoil you must be going through. However, the best thing to do is sit down with them and dicuss a shopping list that is resonable for all parties. They probably are not aware that they are being abusive as nothing has been said so they will keep asking.

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