I have been sitting on this blog post for days now, not sure if I should post it, but it seems everywhere around me people are going through similar situations. As you know, I’ve never been one to shy away from saying it as I see it, so here goes. I’m laying it bare and all I ask is that you keep me to it, ok?
There has been a lot of noise on twitter about choosing your word for 2012. After much pondering about what I could possibly choose I have come with the word “POWER”.
In the last couple of weeks I have made a couple of life-changing realisations about myself, mostly because I acted differently in a conflict situation with someone close to me. I now know the truth about some things about my family and that impacts on how I see myself. And how I see my place in the world as a result.
I have accepted that I am a terrible people-pleaser. I now know that I actually hate conflict, despite being all gung-ho and loudmouthed in real life. I mask being insecure by being bitchy. I am afraid, deep inside, to give my opinion because God forbid someone should stop liking me.
Well.
Things are about to change.
I have woken up to the fact that, because I was made to feel that I shouldn’t rock the boat and keep the peace I have ended up with so much self-loathing and feeling powerless I can almost taste the bitterness and anger. And the cycle is endless and relentless.
Brace yourself as I’m certain there will be a little OTTness initially until I find a balance that works. (That, and I plan on listening to A LOT of Alanis Morissette)
I have decided that 2012 is my year of power.
I am taking back my power.
I am taking back control of my body.
I am taking back power of the words I use.
I am taking back the power of the thoughts I choose to think.
I am taking back the power of how I see myself in relation to the world.
I am taking back the power to be honest instead of nice.
I am going to stop taking everything so damn personally.
So there you have it, 2012 is my Year of Power.
Your honesty humbles me. You have already taken back your power by posting this blog. I salute you.
All power to you!
‘the power to be honest instead of nice’ – inspiring. good luck you!
I am always so taken aback by the fact that your blog and mine seem linked by themes (unbeknownst) … It must be something about the North (both you and I live in the Northern burbs)!
I was particularly intrigued by your second paragraph about your word for 2012 … Read my post from 28 Dec 2011 …
http://zenith-thinking.blogspot.com/2011/12/what-is-your-word.html
But I admire your passion … And you feel like a determined woman!!! So go do it!!!!
I was particularly excited about “taking back the power of the words I use”!!!!!! Love it!!!
Everything of the best for 2012 and more power to u!!!
Warm regards
Collette in Cape Town
Girl power….you go girl!