At work yesterday I sent an email to a lovely friend that at the time seemed direct
without being bitchy and got a very nice response.
When I read the response and my earlier mail last night I was cringed as it seemed a lot
more bitchy than direct. I’m happy with the message I wanted to get across because it’s about something that’s been bugging me for a while, but the words that ended up in the email were just dreadful and petty. I hang my head in shame.
It made me think about whether there is a difference between who(m) (Dammit. Neither looks right despite input from Twitter) I am at work and who I am at home.
The short answer is that there is.
The long answer is that for the first time since before being pregnant with Daniel I feel ok in my skin at work. It’s been a long 6 (SIX!) years of not feeling clever/thin/sharp/committed enough at work as I had barely recovered from porridge brain after Daniel and I was pregnant with twins. And then the ensuing tsunami of raising 3 kids with a 22 month age gap.
I’m not that chick that worked 13 hour days and then still went out to party anymore and I would rather be happy than have a job that stresses me out beyond belief.
I’m loving my job (if that’s ok to say?) even though it’s been quite an adjustment to work full day and I do feel like I hardly ever see my kids and I see it taking its toll on my relationship with them as well as on my marriage. But I’m happier now than I’ve been in a long time, so I guess that counts for something. I even carry the odd toothpaste and snot stain like a badge of honour.
It’s tricky to get the balance right between working and being all those other titles
bestowed upon us. Having time to stay in touch with your old friends and making time for new ones and still do the odd thing you really enjoy in-between. (Minds out the gutter folks, I’m talking cooking. And stuff)
It’s even trickier to get the balance right between being that go-getting-13-hour-a-day
gal and the mushy-please-just-love-me-Mommy person or seeming like you can pull
both of those personalities off at the appropriate times. And then making the transition between the two in the 10 minutes it takes me to drive home each night.
Are you the same person at work as at home? How do you deal with different personas? Or do you ignore it?