The things we don’t say

20130524-185009.jpg If you’ve known me in real life for any stretch of time you’ll know that I’m not great at tact and filtering. I’m a lot better and more patient than I used to be, but it’s hard work to keep quiet when I know that sometimes I would just be out of line just if those words come out of my mouth.

I find it especially hard to keep quiet when I see something that I know will eventually hurt someone and they are either heading for disaster, doing something that they’ll regret or someone is hurting them and it is none of my business. Very, very hard work.

For example:

In the mall I frequent there is a young lady in a wheelchair. Someone in my team asked her one day why she was in a wheelchair. Her answer? She has a fear of walking. She can walk, she just doesn’t like to.

I have been walking past this person almost daily for the last 2 years and every single time I see her rolling herself – with her feet – to the toilets I want to stop and suggest that she maybe go and see a shrink. It pisses me off to see someone this young just throw away their life. And then I talk myself off that ledge and back away from her, because it really is none of my business and I should live and let live and there’s possibly a very good reason for her being like this. But still, that’s so very wrong. I despair for her lack of independence without good reason.

There is also this person on twitter I really like. She is a beautiful, smart and strong woman, but she is so completely wrapped up in self-hate and self-loathing that it pulsates from her tweets. I desperately want to say something, but I’m scared that she’ll be upset with me. And then I consider the alternative and I’m tempted to say : Hey, stop doing that. It annoys people that you only put yourself down so much that it seems like attention seeking behavior of the worst kind. But, then I grind my teeth and keep quiet.

The friend whose husband can be a real ass sometimes? I can’t give him a klap upside the head because I know that he’ll know that she has been talking to me and it would be, well, awkward.

The neighbour who stood outside their house watching their dog attack another dog in front of our house the other day. It would not end well if I suggested that it may have been good for them to step in instead of Etienne and myself.

The two-faced energy-thief I loathe? Can’t say a word, just nod and smile.

This is possibly why I get so enraged when people don’t strap in their kids and friends from overseas talk crap about SA (that post is sitting in my drafts). There is the possibility I channel all the words I cannot say into these things.

Because I can.

But then, there are people like this guy, whom I applaud. It is SO something I would do.

Ps. Don’t google images for ‘zipped lip’. Just. Don’t.