I know, I need to post about Daniel’s operation this past Monday, all in good time, promise.
I had a small epiphany tonight and its too important (and too complicated) to put on Facebook, I need to put it here so my kids can see it one day when they are teenagers and hate me. Or when they are parents themselves.
I may be a little soppy at the moment, I have been thinking about clearing the air with someone that I need to find a way to co-exist with that used to be a friend mostly because I can’t bear ignoring that person anymore. It’s too hard. But it will be a big thing.
I’m worried about another friend that seems distant, I hope she’s ok. I wish she would tell me what’s wrong, but I’m afraid she’ll brush it off.
But what I really wanted to tell you about is how Isabel has been out of sorts lately. Not eating well in the evenings, battling to go to sleep. She is such a tough little cookie normally, nothing ever seems to phase her, she takes everything in her stride. She’s not huge on kisses and hugs like Mignon and Daniel are, she just wants to get on with the really important stuff in life like painting.
But tonight, tonight she said ‘Mamma, ek wil jou hê’ (Mom, I want you). This is huge, so I promptly got into our bed with her and we had ourselves a long chat and a cuddle. She just needed to be held and touched and hugged and loved.
And I realised, I needed it too. I needed her to need me. I needed those hugs and cuddles and love too. My own child comforted me tonight. Comfort that I didn’t realise I needed.
I’m spending the day with Daniel tomorrow as he can only go back to school on Monday and Etienne will only be home late tomorrow evening and I am really looking forward to having them all to myself for a change. (I might come here and whine about them tomorrow evening, but just tell me to shut up, ok?)
This has turned out to be quite a random blog post, but I’m going to leave it just like this. It’s how I feel right now.
Ps. Even more randomly, Etienne found a song tonight that we have been looking for for 11 years. The Goo Goo Dolls and Limp Bizkit performed Pink Floyd’s Wish you were here at the Heroes concert just after 9/11 and we could never remember who sang it. Anyway, so Etienne found it tonight. I’m really bad at embedding videos, so here is the link to the YouTube video. Do yourself a favour and keep in mind when it was performed. It is achingly beautiful.