Hugs for Moms

I know, I need to post about Daniel’s operation this past Monday, all in good time, promise.

I had a small epiphany tonight and its too important (and too complicated) to put on Facebook, I need to put it here so my kids can see it one day when they are teenagers and hate me. Or when they are parents themselves.

I may be a little soppy at the moment, I have been thinking about clearing the air with someone that I need to find a way to co-exist with that used to be a friend mostly because I can’t bear ignoring that person anymore. It’s too hard. But it will be a big thing.

I’m worried about another friend that seems distant, I hope she’s ok. I wish she would tell me what’s wrong, but I’m afraid she’ll brush it off.

But what I really wanted to tell you about is how Isabel has been out of sorts lately. Not eating well in the evenings, battling to go to sleep. She is such a tough little cookie normally, nothing ever seems to phase her, she takes everything in her stride. She’s not huge on kisses and hugs like Mignon and Daniel are, she just wants to get on with the really important stuff in life like painting.

But tonight, tonight she said ‘Mamma, ek wil jou hĂȘ’ (Mom, I want you). This is huge, so I promptly got into our bed with her and we had ourselves a long chat and a cuddle. She just needed to be held and touched and hugged and loved.

And I realised, I needed it too. I needed her to need me. I needed those hugs and cuddles and love too. My own child comforted me tonight. Comfort that I didn’t realise I needed.

I’m spending the day with Daniel tomorrow as he can only go back to school on Monday and Etienne will only be home late tomorrow evening and I am really looking forward to having them all to myself for a change. (I might come here and whine about them tomorrow evening, but just tell me to shut up, ok?)

This has turned out to be quite a random blog post, but I’m going to leave it just like this. It’s how I feel right now.

Ps. Even more randomly, Etienne found a song tonight that we have been looking for for 11 years. The Goo Goo Dolls and Limp Bizkit performed Pink Floyd’s Wish you were here at the Heroes concert just after 9/11 and we could never remember who sang it. Anyway, so Etienne found it tonight. I’m really bad at embedding videos, so here is the link to the YouTube video. Do yourself a favour and keep in mind when it was performed. It is achingly beautiful.

The Couch Chronicles

Tonight I am so tired I don’t even have the energy to switch on my laptop. I don’t think I’ve been so happy to see a Friday in years.

Not happy in a I-hate-my-life kind of way, just happy in a I-really-need-to-gather-my-thoughts kind of way. And in a I-really-miss-my-kids kind of way.

I can tell the day of the week by how many hugs Daniel needs at night: 10 on a Monday and 10 x 10 by a Thursday. Isabel asks for a glass of water on a Monday and water, medicine, hugs and kisses by a Thursday. And Mignon wanders around for a couple of minutes on a Monday and by Thursday night we can hear her down the passage singing songs until she eventually passes out.

They are such little troopers. I feel really bad about yanking them out of bed so early in the morning and dropping them off at school when it’s not even properly light yet.

But. We do what we need to.

Ps please hold thumbs, we are hoping to add another canine child to our family. Details to follow..

Pps I blogged from my phone. Just so you know.