A state of Happiness

One of the things I love most about walking (except for the fact that my body seems to be losing the weight in the wrong “B” place, that is, Boobs instead of Belly) is that it gives me time to reflect.  It also gives me an opportunity to walk past pretty houses and gardens and appreciate their beauty.

Several people have commented lately that I look really well and I usually crack a joke and say it’s all because of good drugs, but it struck me yesterday that I really am really well.

And Happy.

Sure we are still broke, I still have to work full day and I still get to see far too little of my kids, but I’m actually Happy.

I was trying to figure out what it means to be happy and why I would suddenly feel happier now than, say, a month ago. (except for the good drugs that is).  I remember reading an Afrikaans story many years ago about how you only experience happiness as a memory and I remember thinking at the time how sad that is, because it is so true.

How often do you relate fun stories to people as memories and remember thinking how happy you were at the time?  What could possibly be wrong with being happy now, in the moment?

Here are a couple of things that I think have contributed to this feeling state of happiness:

  1. I’m more “in the moment” at the moment. I’m trying hard to make eye contact with my kids when they talk and really try to listen in to what they are saying now that they are getting really good at expressing themselves.  They are funny, bright and happy children.
  2. I’m feeling grateful for my life.  I’ve stopped wanting to be what I am never going to be and started looking at what we have and what I am NOW.  Really looking.  And appreciating.  And accepting.
  3. I’ve come to realize that people that drive past me when I’m walking might be judging my fat stomach and arse, but at least I’m not watching those cars from the couch.  So who really cares?
  4. I’ve come to accept that some people in my life will never change so best I stop fighting with them about things that will simply never be different.  That was incredibly liberating and it takes away their power to hurt me.  I highly recommend this!
  5. I have an awesome husband.  Our relationship gets stronger by the day because we are both working at it.  And that love is a shining beacon for our children (permit me that little soppiness!) Life really is too short for relationships based on compromise, falseness or lack of trust.
  6. I’m taking time out for ME. Who would have thought??
  7. I am spending less time on the internet.  I have been a bad tweeter and I have been a really bad blogger lately, but I would rather spend time having a conversation with Etienne or reading a book on my Kindle Fire I got as a gift recently (How friggin awesome is that?!).  I miss my friends in the computer, but the ones that are worthwhile will understand.
  8. I refuse to be in a rush. I would rather either start getting ready 5 minutes earlier or be 5 minutes late to a social event than rush.  (Not like the party we were 40 minutes late for recently instead of 10 minutes as I got the time wrong.  Oops).  I’m also taking my time reading to the kids at night and not rush through it and give that extra cuddle and kiss at bedtime as they seem to settle sooner then.
  9. I’m taking the time to dress to feel good, not cover up as much as I can with wide, black clothes.  With varying degrees of success, but hey, I’ll keep trying!  At least some days I leave the house now feeling (gasp) pretty.  Makes such a difference to my work-persona
  10. Speaking of work:  I love my job.
  11. I’m determined to stop hating my body by not giving in to telling myself how fat/ugly I look and feel as a consequence.  Once again, with varying degrees of success, but it’s a work in progress.

Are you Happy?  What is wrong with your life now that prevents you from feeling Happy? What holds you back?

Of Bios and stuff

One of my favourite people on twitter is Jane-Anne Hobbs. Not only is she the source of the best morning news, she is also an accomplished food-blogger.  We made half our Christmas lunch off her website, with great success.

Last night there was some light banter on twitter with another one of my favourite people, Nechama Brodie, about writing your bio and Jane demanded to see mine, which I had painstakingly written and sent off for a recent article for Girl Guides. She took one look, put a red pen through it and told me that it said absolutely nothing about me.

I hate writing bios.

I mean, how much or how little are you meant to say?  Do you tell people you like to tweet in the bathroom whilst driving when you’re meant to be working when you have a free moment in your day after having tucked your rosy-cheeked children in for the night?  Do you confess to killing off pot plants on a regular basis or being a terrible TERRIBLE cook.

Do you warn people of your ability to only open your mouth to occasionally swap feet and your amazing ability to piss people off and not really knowing how you did it?

Or do you tell people that you have a really, really small heart that is actually quite easily cracked by thoughtless comments. (like someone else did yesterday)

What do you say when it feels like you have a perfectly boring suburbian life and that you are craving to learn something new every day and desperately want to complain about office politics.  Crazymad, I know.

Do you admit to always feeling like the fat frumpy person at parties that prefers to hide behind a glass of wine and witty banter?

I am many things as you know, but I am horrific at saying how bloody fantastic I am.  It’s really, really hard.  And God forbid I should actually believe some of it.

So, I want to challenge you to post your REAL bio either here or post a link to it in the comments section so we can all have a good laugh at ourselves.  And by real I mean I want you to say how Absolutely Fantastic you are, give yourself a much deserved pat on the back.

Go on, you know you want to.