Please don’t say ‘I told you so’

It was Daniel’s birthday last Friday and his party on Saturday. I won’t lie: it was very stressful.

There were some Moms here that haven’t been to our house before and an hour before the party Etienne was moving furniture around with Norma when she moved the couch over his foot, resulting in the loss of the nail of his big toe. Yes, it was as gross as it sounds, I apologise for the over-share. He is tough, but still in a lot of pain, poor guy.

On the way to the hospital we passed my parents so I promptly screeched to a halt and made my Dad take him to the hospital.

Then, when I arrived home and checked the soup on the stove I realised that the gas had run out. It was a real WTAF moment for me. A gas bottle normally lasts us about 6 months, so that really was not necessary. Luckily the guy responsible for Daniel’s party entertainment was able to help eventually.

The party itself was a blur, but the kids had a blast, I will do a proper post with pics soon, promise.

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Then, on Tuesday, a bunch of us went to see Bon Jovi. It was absolutely amazing, I’m SO glad I went, it was just what the doctor ordered.

In general I’m feeling very tired, a little miserable and burnt-out at the moment. It’s been a long year of parties so far. My 40th in Jan, the girls in March, my Mom’s surprise party in April and Daniel in May. Work. Parenting. Being a wife. Life in general. People being assholes on the Internet. Making time for family and friends. Gym. Keeping up with school activities.

So, before you say ‘I told you so’, I know. I’m overcommitted. If it were up to me I would curl up in a corner for 2 weeks, read mindless drivel and not speak to a single person the entire time.

Sadly though, life carries on, so I’m going to go easy on the Internet and Social Media and focus the most important people: my family.

What do you do when you are feeling stretched so thin you feel brittle? How do you find your way back to yourself?

Bad dreams and play dates

I know.  If I was any kind of Mother by now I would have downloaded all  the pics from the girls’ party on Saturday and already posted them here, but I haven’t.  So there.

Their 5th birthday party was on Saturday morning and I literally woke up in a puddle of drool from a nap on Saturday afternoon, I was THAT tired.  What an epic nap that was after a party that I was very happy with. It wasn’t Pinterest Perfect*, but it was perfect for us and our kids had an absolute ball.

Sunday morning was brunch with the Whine Club girls and Sunday afternoon we went to see Koos Kombuis at Backsberg.  It was really cool to be somewhere without proper cellphone signal so I was forced to pack my phone away and it was so relaxing just lolling around on the grass with the kids. We could listen to music, drink some lovely wine and just “be” with the kids and the lovely family that went with us. No rush to finish supper, tidy a kitchen or worry about feet on the couch.

I had such an overwhelming sense of peace on Sunday evening.  You know those odd moments when you stand outside your life for a minute and realize OMG, this is it.  This is my life and it is just grand, I wouldn’t exchange it for anything else.  I love those moments, I live for those moments and try to replicate them as often as I can.

So imagine my surprise when I didn’t sleep much on Sunday night thanks to some dodgy sushi and battled to fall asleep last night again, only to wake up from a horrible dream that Daniel had died.  I swear I was crying in my sleep, it was really very upsetting.

I wonder where that came from?

Then I would like to ask: some of the lovely Moms (that we met for the first time on Saturday) want to do play dates with the girls, but offered to pick up the girls either from school or our house during  working hours.  I felt a little awkward as they are really lovely people and I initially didn’t get that they were inviting my children only, so I kept suggesting Saturday mornings until it dawned on me that the invite was for the girls only.  I’m just not comfortable sending my kids to people’s houses that I don’t know very well/I haven’t been to myself (that entire sentence should read “we” as Etienne agrees btw), but I also don’t want to seem ungracious and alienate the Moms as we will be together for the next 12 years.  I also don’t want to be labeled as “that difficult Mom”, but I’m just not comfortable and I may or may not have taken it just a tad personally that I wasn’t invited either because I’m of the “the-more-the-merrier” persuasion. As far as I’m concerned our house can always be filled with people.

What do you think?  How do I handle the situation with tact and grace?

ps: If I was under any illusion that I really wanted to have that last baby I keep begging Etienne for I changed my mind in the last 2 days as I DO NOT cope well without sleep. I a walking disaster breaking things and knocking my toes blue.

* Pinterest Perfect = those wonderful things you see on Pinterest that you so desperately want to copy but just never seem to get quite right.  I totally made that up.

Stop the bus please I want to climb off

The sole purpose of this post is so I can whine a little, so if that’s not your thing it’s completely fine, off you go, there’s nothing here to see.

Still here?

Welcome to the crazy. I started counting sleeps till when my holiday starts about a week ago. (87 sleeps and counting FYI).

Now don’t get me wrong. I love my life and I certainly don’t have a lot to complain about, but it feels like my head is about to explode.

The only way to explain it is like this: everything going on in my head right now.

Ready?

Plan what gifts to make for Christmas | organise way overdue food blog | work | make Christmas gifts | think about Etienne’s anniversary gifts | buy Etienne’s anniversary gift | work | bake cake for school for cake raffle on Friday (yes, I know I can buy, but that’s like cheating, don’t even ask) | decorate said cake | arrange girls’ night out at the end of October | work | have old book club gang over for drinks | worry about Daniel at school (long story) | work | arrange anniversary dinner reservation | have argument about said dinner reservation | work | have another argument about relevant child are option for duration of anniversary dinner | think about Christmas gifts some more | remember to make sandwiches for school staff (also for Friday) | work | worry about where to find second dress that will fit Mignon as I had to return the 2 dresses I bought yesterday as they were too small and now they only have one dress in the right size and not another one anywhere to be found and now only Isabel has a dress that fits | remember to follow up on tickets for Sauvignon Festival | lunch boxes | worry about kids during holiday week next week | work | (insert unpublishable worry about family here) | worry about Daniel’s allergies and sinuses | try to squeeze all admin into Saturday morning | try to not go mad | work | think about ways to catch up with some favorite friends I don’t see often enough | and so on and so forth |

Did reading that make you tired?

It sure made me tired, I think I’m going to go and lie down now.

Friday

So. Huddled in a corner on the couch on a Friday night. All I need now is a snack and some wine and life would be perfect. To be honest, I could quite happily go to bed now. Instead we’ll watch Graham Norton and the next thing it will be 11pm. The story of my life.

When I arrived home today the girls were already in the bath and I run down the passage to take over and they promptly dismissed me, preferring that the Domestic Goddess bath them. Gmpf.

Then Etienne shows me this:

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Apparently they sent cookies home for Mothers Day from school. They were finished by the time Etienne managed to get the kids to the car. Typical.

At the table tonight everyone is talking/laughing/whining/messing as usual and Isabel pipes up: ‘Mom, Daddy bought you a DVD today!’ Followed by an uncomfortable little silence. And Etienne shaking his head.

We then have a conversation about ‘Who ate Mommy’s cookies’ and Daniel says ‘But Daddy also has one in his tummy!’ He claims that he was forced to eat one. Right.

All this whilst trying to keep Mignon off my lap so I can have my supper.

Just a usual Friday night…