The Girl I Used to Be

There’s a lot going on in my head right now, I’m thinking about things I would love to write about but probably shouldn’t but I might anyway. We’ll see.

I’m feeling like there’s just not enough of me to go around and that somehow it’s all my fault for not being completely in control. OCD much?

Don’t worry, I can see you shaking your heads at me behind your phones and computers. (Yes! You!) Move along, there’s nothing here to see..

Someone in my team sent me this poem recently by Rowena K. Lewis and it really hit home when I came across it again today. (I googled her, but I couldn’t find much about her except for the fact that she died in 2007 and that this poem has appeared on several blogs)


She came tonight as I sat alone
The girl I used to be….
And she gazed at me with her earnest eye
And questioned reproachfully;

Have you forgotten the many plans
And hopes I had for you?
The great career, the splendid fame,
all the wonderful things to do?

Where is the mansion of stately height
With all its gardens rare?
The silken robes that I dreamed for you
And the jewels in your hair?

And as she spoke, I was very sad
For I wanted her pleased with me…
This slender girl from the shadowy past
The girl that I used to be.

So gently rising I took her hand
And guided her up the stairs
Where peacefully sleeping, my babies lay
Innocent, sweet and fair.

And I told her that these are my only gems,
and precious they are to me;
That the silken robes is my motherhood
Of costly simplicity.

And my mansion of stately height is love,
And the only career I know
Is serving each day in these sheltered walls
For the dear ones who come and go

And as I spoke to my shadowy guest,
She smiled through her tears at me.
And I saw the woman I am now
Pleased the girl I used to be