I’ve been meaning to write something like this for ages but haven’t really known how to without sounding all whiny and horrible, but saw a scene in Desperate Housewives (don’t laugh or mock yet, stay with me) on Thursday that really made me think. In the scene Lynette was upset because she felt bad that everyone was always going on about how fantastic her Husband (what’s his name?) is and how it makes her feel.
I have a fantastic Husband. He is a real gem. He can do anything I can do better except for the obligatory womb and breastfeeding needed to produce children and feed them initially. He is patient and kind and generous. The children love him and I often comment in jest that he is a better Mother than I am. People often OFTEN comment on how fantastic he is and I always agree and cringe a little inside.
Because see, he really is the patient and generous and kind and loving and affectionate Parent. Not that I’m not also those things at least some of the time, he’s just SO much better at it. I am more of the disciplinarian. He is just naturally better at playing with the kids and he just makes it seem so effortless to juggle cooking and kids whenever I’m not here. It sometimes (in my darker moments) feels like he is the glue that keeps us together when I know that we both work very hard at it. And some days it’s really hard to keep it all together with 3 children.
I also fuck things up on a regular basis, can be really bitchy and can be very disorganised when it comes to paying bills, getting car licenses, doing grocery shopping etc and he never ever shouts or gets angry, he just deals with it. Which actually makes me feel worse.
He is clearly not without his faults, but I know he will never lift his hand in anger and I know he is not conniving or dishonest. I know he lives for his children and gets upset whenever I end up doing something nice with them and he misses out, which is quite sweet.
I am however never going to be able to get him to do anything on a whim whereas I’m much more spontaneous (I can decide to go away on a Friday afternoon and be in George by 8pm), but mostly I remember these days to plan when I’m going to want to do something on a whim so I can ease him into the idea. (I hope this makes sense, if it doesn’t just nod and smile).
I want to hold him up as a shining beacon and say ‘Look! This is the kind of guy every girl deserves so don’t settle for less!’
And I do, a lot.