When we had twins we made ourselves some promises. It was really important for us to raise them as individuals. To dress them differently, never refer to them as ‘The Twins’ and some other things we felt were important at the time.
I have a friend who used to hate that she and her sister were referred to as ‘The Girls’ and this made me even more determined to not refer to Mignon and Isabel as a collective.
I’m afraid we might have failed a little.
It started very innocently. From their arrival we spoke about ‘Sussie’ (sister) and ‘Boetie’ (brother) as part of showing love and affection. Somewhere along the way they became a Collective, ‘The Sussies’. At school they talk about the Sussies, at home we tell Daniel to say goodnight to the Sussies.
In the back of my mind I have wondered about this, but not really ever got smacked with the way other people perceive it until this past week.
Someone asked me in what context and why we call them Sussie and it was really hard to explain. We have so many names for them that aren’t their own names: Liefie, Skattebol, Pokkeloks (no idea where that came from!), Pop, Koekeloeks (once again, no idea!), Monkey. The list is endless.
So, this weekend I was thinking about how they would feel about it in the long run and if they would be mad that they are referred to as ‘Sussies’, which technically they are. And I’ve decided that for now it’s ok. Sometimes it’s just a little easier to talk about ‘Sussies’ if you are in a hurry and just need to get the words out and I am very comfortable that everyone that matters at school understands our way of thinking and celebrates their differences the way we do at home.
What do you think?
Ek praat van die laaities. Soms is dit net nodig om te onderskei tussen een lot en die ander :). Ek dink regtig nie daar is veel van ‘n krissis daarmee nie 🙂
Hi Cuz, yes this is something to consider as we are going down the same path – must be honest that we refer to them as “The girls” but wherever possible we try and say Caitlin & Katherine. I have also been asked if we are going to call them by their full names or are we going to shorten them? For the time being we are sticking with calling them by their full names – but I am most certain that in due time this too will change! xxx
We chose all our kids names with the hope that they can not be shortened and yet people still try, even my Mother. Drives me nuts.
I don’t think that you need to worry too much about this. I refer to my sons as the boys. I think it will sort itself out as they get older.
x
Sam refers to the older 2 as her sussies,she will often ask “Where are the sussies?”As for me, as you witnessed the other day,half the time I get the names wrong when I call them……gallloping Altzheimers!
You do treat each of your girls as individuals and they are so different,don’t think there is any harm in ‘the sussies’