I have been thinking a lot about turning 40 and what it means, but the truth is that it kind of crept up on me in the end.
I used to think that age really is just a number, that how you feel defines your age, but now I’m not so sure. The thought of turning 40 didn’t scare me. In fact, I think being 40 gives me permission to be more authentic, more real. More honest.
More free as my friend Carmen says.
To explain how turning 40 feels its probably easier to explain it in relation to 30.
Except for the really obvious stuff like not having children at 30 and a completely different job, my life has changed significantly over the last 10 years.
My marriage is stronger than ever before. And not in the ‘comfortable worn shoe’ way, in the ‘you still take my breath away by your awesomeness’ kind of way.
I am a lot more patient and forgiving (see also: parenting).
My capacity to tolerate BS and falseness has diminished significantly. Really, life is too short.
There is just no way to explain how my capacity to love has grown. It often catches me unaware, the force of love literally punches me in the gut when looking at this family that Etienne and I made, these incredibly special little people in our life.
The friends in my life are amazing, you know who you are, I am so extremely lucky to have you. Some friendships were shed the last 10 yrs that were toxic or simply faded. It’s been so hard to let go of one friendship particularly, but I think I’m there now.
I don’t feel old, I feel mature. Calmer. Happier. (You should probably interpret ‘mature’ as ‘less churlish and childish’)
I gossip less, possibly because I’m just too busy.
Appearance matters less, what lies below is much more important.
My friend Lori also taught me recently that sometimes it is better to be kind than to be right. That was a biggy for me, and strangely liberating.
The undue pressure (Wife, Mom, Blogger, Worker) we place ourselves under that I am very guilty of, I’m working on letting that go. Not entirely, but less stress, more fun.
I look forward to getting older, I plan on making it completely fabulous!
How do you feel about getting older?
Ps. I started writing this post on the 31st of December whilst waiting for hours for Mignon to pee in a cup at the Vredenburg hospital emergency room and have been battling it since then, but I really don’t care that its late. So there.