I want another baby. I want another baby so badly I am willing to go through IVF again.
But, I think I have to accept that it is just not possible for us, so to console myself I have come up with (almost) 39 reasons not to have another baby. They will never outweigh the gazillion pro’s to having another baby, but hey.
- Poo Nappies
- Vomit in any shape or form. Yes, I’m still dealing with vomit, but at least these days when I leave the house I’m more likely to be covered in toothpaste than baby puke.
- Not having all my cupboards behind lock and key. Which means that I don’t dislocate a shoulder every time I want to open the cupboard to get the Handy
Andy. - No more feeding of babies with spoons.
- No more cooking of food in bulk and freezing in a gazillion little containers.
- Being able to leave a child unattended in the bath for longer than 2 seconds.
- The cost of having the baby.
- The cost of keeping that baby.
- Being able to sit around the supper table and have a conversation. Even if
it entails more threats (eat your food OR..) than actual conversation. - Not rushing home after an early lunch just so you can get kids down to sleep between 13h00 and 15h00. We lived for those 2 hours quiet time!
- Sippy Cups. I abhor sippy cups.
- Falling over the pram in the middle of the night.
- Potty training.
- No more let-down reflux. (my boobs actually flinched as I typed that)
- Stomach fat. (ok, who am I kidding, I still have stomach fat, but you get where I’m going with this)
- Being able to give a child an instruction and have them on occasion actually do as asked. Very occasionally.
- Not dressing a wriggly worm.
- Sharp table corners.
- Hard tile floors.
- Stairs (My stomach still flips at the mere thought of a child falling down the stairs)
- Not having to fish toothbrushes and other innocent paraphernalia out of the toilet.
- Sleep deprivation.
- Sleep training. God how I hate sleep training. Not that we haven’t had to re-train the odd child.
- Drool and bibs. They belong in the same place as sippy cups. Hell.
- Being able to say to that shadow looming at your side of the bed “Go back to bed, it’s too early yet”
- Being able to cuddle with abovementioned shadow because there is no way he/she will go back to bed and you have to wake up in 30 minutes anyway and not get up to put them back into a cot.
- No more Purity Banana. Eeuuwww.
- No more having to buy formula.
- Not having to buy nappies. That shit’s expensive. And no, I’m not ‘that’ into recycling that I would invest in cloth nappies. I’d rather plant a couple of trees.
- Not ever EVER crawling around on the floor to retrieve a brown dummy in a far dark corner under a cot off the brown carpet at 03h00 in the morning.
- Having to leave that baby at home and go back to work. Don’t think I could go
through that again. - Immunisations and seeing your baby being injected. Especially when you sport your own phobia for needles.
- Growth spurts and not knowing what’s wrong.
- Teething (need I say more?)
- Ok, teething nappies. Remember, I don’t do poo.
- Porridge brain. It’s taken more than 3 years after having the girls to feel like I can have an actual conversation about anything other than children.
- Hormones.
- Post Natal Depression. I’m a lucky two-time winner.
- My age. I’m almost 39.
Sorry if I just put you off having another baby 🙂