So we had ourselves a little experiment this week, but before you continue reading you have to promise you won’t judge me for what I am about to tell you. Capice?
We didn’t plan it or anything, it just kind of happened and we are, to say the least, completely blown away.
Here’s what happened:
The rule in our house is no TV or computers before 17h00. Until then it is proper play-time and bath-time and we relish using this as a tool to get children into the bath.
Etienne gets home way before I do, so by the time I arrive my absolutely fantastic husband is cooking supper and the kids are firmly ensconced either in front of the TV or playing something on the computer. This means that when I come waltzing in to say hello I get a grunt in my general direction if I’m lucky. Etienne is the only one that will greet me with a proper hello and a smooch.
This irritates me no end. (the lack of greeting, not the smooch. I love smooching, but that’s another post)
It however does not irritate me as much as the wailing whining crying stomping of feet tantrums do Every Single Night when we gather at the dinner table, promptly at 6h30pm, especially Daniel. It got to the point where we threatened to summarily send them on a time-out if we heard a single peep of protest. Along with the usual speech of how Daddy slaved very hard to make a lovely supper (I know, he’s SUCH a keeper!) and the hungry children in Ethiopia story and threats of no snack after supper and so on and so forth.
Painful doesn’t even begin to describe some nights, I can only imagine what it does to our digestive systems.
What really made me think was this link my awesome friend Caz sent me and that there must be some correlation between that completely irrational, completely over-the-top-emotional behavior and the sensory input overload of electronic appliances. That and the fact that I hatehatehate drama. There is also a book available on the topic.
So we decided to try something, and by WE I mean ME, I ambushed Etienne and bullied him until he agreed. Well, mostly anyway.
I suggested we cancel computer and TV for a week.
I know, how cruel am I? After some negotiation we settled on no computer games and 1 hour of TV a day for this week.
Monday night I came home to 3 children running around the house laughing and screaming like maniacs.
Tuesday night I came home to 3 children chasing each other around and around laughing and screaming like maniacs.
Wednesday night I came home to 3 children crawling around on the kitchen floor, chasing each other and screaming and laughing like maniacs.
Last night I came home to 3 children doing laps up and down the passage and around the lounge and, you guessed it, screaming and laughing like maniacs.
The only common denominator was Etienne’s face every night I walked in the door: an odd mix of terror and exasperation. (as a side note, he was waiting for me in the garage last night, he has twigged on to the fact that I tweet in the garage for 5 4 3 2 1 a minute before venturing into the house)
Supper time? A breeze. There was still a little whining, but not on the scale it used to be and they actually sat at the table for the duration of the event and didn’t run off at the first available opportunity to sit in front of a TV that is off anyway. AND they actually ate their damn food.
We need to decide where to from here, but it is almost summer and there is absolutely no reason for them to spend so much time in front of computers and the TV, but we need to be strong. And by WE I mean ETIENNE as he spends more time with them in the evenings than I do. (Love you babes!)
What are your house rules about TV and Computers/Tablets if any?
I’ve recently stopped my DStv subscription, and also put tablets (off) and pc’s in the study for the night when I get home from work. And it’s fantastic! Suddenly my evenings are longer, I actually have time for my hobbies, and something I didn’t expect, I sleep better.
I do strongly believe that too much sensory stimulation, especially before going to bed can affect you. Remember that ad on tv years ago with the little kid sitting in front of the tv, images continue flashing in his dreams.
And just something interesting: I remember years ago, in high school, one of my friends didn’t have a tv. So she didn’t know what happened in Egoli last night, but she did get much higher marks than the rest of us, and had the most awesome hobbies. The rest of us usually just had tv as an answer to ‘what did you do last night’.
I SO agree with you, it is very much about not raising a generation of children that spend their lives inert in front of a TV/Computer
xxxx There is so so much input creating MELTDOWN output out there – good for you banning things! I have been living it for 2 months now (most stuff banned – not out of choice), and the kids are still fine, improving dare I say it. So ya…. that said, after a LONG day with them, I am absolutely certain TV will be going ON lol
We do what we gotta do Caz. Hugs to you my friend.
In our house there is no tv but there is the dvd player.. so we watch movies, which most nights goes on when we get home.. but we only get home after 6pm and it helps that Carys is entertained while i quickly make supper… (single mom’s need all the help they can get) .. some nights she’ll be in her room playing, or playing with Molly the mut….
It’s great not having tv.. i cancelled my dstv cuz it was such a waste of money. Carys loves Dora so i don’t mind if she watches ‘educational’ stuff. She still loves Barney. On weekends i get a movie or read a book .. and the rest of the time we listen to music.
That is awesome Lizelle.
You know that SPD (the link you gave) is exactly what L has (Cazpi and I mailed a bit) We do very little TV in general but have foudn that no more than 1 hour a day apart from Friday nights or weekends. And no computers. THe Princess at 7 is another matter – she seem to be able at that age to work through the stimulation. But we will stay low on that for a while still.
I didn’t realise it was SPD, apologies. I think we can cope with an hour a day, I agree that the computer is a big no for now.
Both my kids have sensory issues so there is ZERO TV during the week unless it’s a special occasion – Child1 loves watching Survivor so when it comes on then I allow him to watch it. Computer time is VERY limited as well – mostly for Child1.
Honestly? I do it for my own sanity. I can’t cope with them if there is too much of sensory imput. On the weekends the TV gets switched on ONLY if they ask for it. If they don’t ask then we don’t bother.
Thank you. I really didn’t realise how bad it was until I realised how bad it was 🙂
We don’t have DSTV so it is very limited what they can watch and often they put it on but don’t actually watch!
Its been broken for 2 days now and they are battling a little but coping just fine 🙂
Because we don’t have DSTV we don’t really have major issues but the few shows they do like do get “taken away” if they dont listen.
I hear you, we need our bargaining tools 🙂
We have a no screen time during the week rule. Works for us. My eldest has SPD so sensory overload happens most days anyway without adding electronic gadgets and screens into the mix. On the weekends they can watch movies and play with game devices and on the computer within reason. We hardly ever watch television. Honestly, I don’t know how to find time to watch TV. I’d much rather build a puzzle or Lego or read a book or play a game with my boys than mindlessly watch TV. And watching movies we choose means less chance of inappropriate viewing and eliminates dreadful adverts.
I’m truly amazed at how people are aware of SPD.
We usually also avoid tv channels, it’s mostly kiddy movies, but still input. I’m seriously re-thinking our whole relationship with television
I know my twins are still ridiculously young (10 months) but they have only watched 30 minutes of TV in their whole lives. We record Numtums and Telly Tubbies and allow them one episode ona weekend. I know we probably won’t maintain this at this level as they get older, but I would really like my kids to learn to entertain themselves and not need the TV to do it for them.
Sometimes I wonder if I am depriving my kids from the new ‘normal’ by keeping them away from the box?
This is the question I keep asking myself too, but at the moment I’m not happy to expose my kids to something they can’t handle.
Rules in our home regarding tv/computer?
It’s unlimited time on either of those things. They only get scolded regarding time on either of those things when they really are bad. The thing is that me and hubby uses tv and computer as leisure time for ourselves as well, so we see no point in taking it away from the kids.
Before anyone worries whether the children don’t play enough, my kids do play outside a lot. They get bored of tv & computer throughout the day and then they play. I don’t need to monitor them for that.
Homework time is in the evenings and then there’s not tv. When finished, then they may watch or play again. We’re very laid back.
It sounds like your children have a good balance though.
Daniel is a year and he never watches TV at night. I don’t think that’ll change for a while
Good on you for making the change, not easy. I hope it continues to work for you
Thank you.