Tag: children and food

The inevitable visit to the ENT and some advice please?

About 2 weeks ago Daniel’s tonsils flared up for the third time this year, which of course meant a course of antibiotics and Etienne and I decided that it was time for Daniel’s (and our) first visit to the ENT.  It’s not just the tonsils though, his allergies are really really bad this year and his eczema has flared up in a big way.  I also realised that I should stop shouting at him for eating with his mouth open as his nose is probably too blocked to eat any other way.

We have also been worried about his hearing, although to be honest, we wrote it off to him just not listening and have been insisting that he look at us when we speak to him.

But the cherry on top was a weird thing started happening to him: his eyes would swell shut completely for no apparent reason.  It only happened 2 or 3 times, but we figured out this week that he is probably allergic/intolerant to eggs.  He hates eggs, has never eaten them and won’t even sit next to you when you eat them, but lately he has taken to eating baby potatoes with mayonnaise.  That contains egg. (the potato/mayo thing is of course ALL Etienne’s fault)

So, off we went to see the ENT yesterday, fully expecting to have his tonsils removed.  As it turns out, we are going for the whole hog (I would have said trifecta, if it weren’t for the fact that there are 4 things) : sinus flush, adenoids, tonsils and grommets.  His ears are so full of gunk that he actually cannot hear us; it’s not just that he isn’t listening to us.  Aren’t we just awesome parents?  I know, you’re just dying to give us an award, aren’t you!

While he is under the doctor will also draw blood and do a comprehensive allergy test.  I shudder to think what the results are going to be, he is already so limited in what he can have.  But, we will do what we always do: we will adapt, come what may.

We are booked to go in on the 19th and he is only getting done in the afternoon, so I’m looking at a long day with a hungry and grumpy child.  Apparently I’m also meant to go into theatre with him when they put him under, which I was going to try and do anyway, but I would honestly rather stick pens in my eyes.  The ENT himself is very cool and really good with Daniel, so at least that’s not something I have to be too worried about.

I’m very nervous as this is the first time one of our kids has to have an anesthetic, so I need some advice please, any advice is welcome!

What advice could you give me about what to do in hospital and afterwards?  What should they eat and not eat?  How long are you meant to keep them home?  Anything else I need to look out for?

An Experiment in Television

This picture was not taken this week.

So we had ourselves a little experiment this week, but before you continue reading you have to promise you won’t judge me for what I am about to tell you. Capice?

We didn’t plan it or anything, it just kind of happened and we are, to say the least, completely blown away.

Here’s what happened:

The rule in our house is no TV or computers before 17h00. Until then it is proper play-time and bath-time and we relish using this as a tool to get children into the bath.

Etienne gets home way before I do, so by the time I arrive my absolutely fantastic husband is cooking supper and the kids are firmly ensconced either in front of the TV or playing something on the computer. This means that when I come waltzing in to say hello I get a grunt in my general direction if I’m lucky. Etienne is the only one that will greet me with a proper hello and a smooch.

This irritates me no end. (the lack of greeting, not the smooch. I love smooching, but that’s another post)

It however does not irritate me as much as the wailing whining crying stomping of feet tantrums do Every Single Night when we gather at the dinner table, promptly at 6h30pm, especially Daniel. It got to the point where we threatened to summarily send them on a time-out if we heard a single peep of protest. Along with the usual speech of how Daddy slaved very hard to make a lovely supper (I know, he’s SUCH a keeper!) and the hungry children in Ethiopia story and threats of no snack after supper and so on and so forth.

Painful doesn’t even begin to describe some nights, I can only imagine what it does to our digestive systems.

What really made me think was this link my awesome friend Caz sent me and that there must be some correlation between that completely irrational, completely over-the-top-emotional behavior and the sensory input overload of electronic appliances. That and the fact that I hatehatehate drama. There is also a book available on the topic.

So we decided to try something, and by WE I mean ME, I ambushed Etienne and bullied him until he agreed. Well, mostly anyway.

I suggested we cancel computer and TV for a week.

I know, how cruel am I? After some negotiation we settled on no computer games and 1 hour of TV a day for this week.

Monday night I came home to 3 children running around the house laughing and screaming like maniacs.

Tuesday night I came home to 3 children chasing each other around and around laughing and screaming like maniacs.

Wednesday night I came home to 3 children crawling around on the kitchen floor, chasing each other and screaming and laughing like maniacs.

Last night I came home to 3 children doing laps up and down the passage and around the lounge and, you guessed it, screaming and laughing like maniacs.

The only common denominator was Etienne’s face every night I walked in the door: an odd mix of terror and exasperation. (as a side note, he was waiting for me in the garage last night, he has twigged on to the fact that I tweet in the garage for 5 4 3 2 1 a minute before venturing into the house)

Supper time? A breeze. There was still a little whining, but not on the scale it used to be and they actually sat at the table for the duration of the event and didn’t run off at the first available opportunity to sit in front of a TV that is off anyway. AND they actually ate their damn food.

We need to decide where to from here, but it is almost summer and there is absolutely no reason for them to spend so much time in front of computers and the TV, but we need to be strong. And by WE I mean ETIENNE as he spends more time with them in the evenings than I do. (Love you babes!)

What are your house rules about TV and Computers/Tablets if any?

When your parenting principles get in the way

I had a little epiphany yesterday.  And I wasn’t even drinking at the time.

I was in the great company of my favourite psychologist this week and was telling him about how Mignon was driving me mad with her whining at the supper table on Tuesday night.

We had chicken pie, rice and salad for supper (all her favourite things) and from the get-go we could see that things were going to go pear-shaped for her.  In the back of my mind I knew she was probably overtired, but I chose to ignore that screaming little voice and all the flashing warning lights.

She was whining and crying about how she couldn’t cut her chicken pie, literally sitting in a little heap on her chair, when Isabel and Daniel had no problem and it is very much something she is able to do for herself.  To cut a long story short it ended up in a time-out for her amid much sobbing and crying and drama. (have I ever mentioned how much I hate drama?)

Supper is a special time for us (or it’s meant to be).  It’s the one time of day no-one is in a rush or staring at the TV/computer and we normally have a lovely chat and hear stories about their day that we never would have heard otherwise.  So you can imagine that we jealously guard this time with them.

The other thing that is really important to me is fairness.  How could I possibly agree to cut Mignon’s chicken pie when we just made Daniel and Isabel cut theirs? What message does that send to them? (this has more to do about my own family stuff.  See also: drama)

In the end Etienne basically just picked her up and took her to bed where she stayed until the next morning, she literally passed out.  I ended up feeling like a complete bitch, wondering how I could have handled it differently without compromising on the things that are important to me as a person and a parent.

So, the following scenario was presented to me by my shrink:

He had recently heard about a family who believed in the power of prayer and didn’t take their sick child to the doctor.  The child then died and by law an autopsy had to be done and they had to go to court.  Apparently the judge then suggested that they should have considered placing their love for their child before their personal principles.

This made me think.  I have all these issues I am dealing with and mistakes I am trying not to make with my own children, do I sometimes place those principles and the mistakes I so desperately try not to make before my love for my children and what they might need at any given point in time?

The short answer:  You bet.

So, next time I’m going to say to Isabel and Daniel “Guys, thanks for cutting your own chicken pie, would you mind if Mom/Dad helped Mignon tonight?”  And before jumping on my principles I’m going to try to take a step back and ask myself whether they interfere with my love for my child.

Damn, parenting is hard sometimes.