As it turns out, one of the things that wind me up the most is uploading and offloading of children from the car. It tests my last little bit of resolve and patience when I need it most.
I’ll use today as a shining example of my virtue as a Mother.
Before I start I need to tell you that there is a system. A child usually sits in front (YES, the airbag is off, relax) and it works on a rotational basis. They will claim to remember on a Monday who sat in front last on a Friday and God help you if you can’t remember as then you cannot say with conviction who is right. And they can smell fear.
I usually collect the girls first. We walk out together, they each have their bag on their back, containing their empty lunchboxes. They then take a wide walk around the parking lot and after much coaxing I eventually manage to get them in the car. Then the usual disagreement of who sits where. Then they each want their (empty) lunchbox. Then they each want to climb into their own seat. Which means I have to wait until everyone is settled and only then can I engage seatbelts and check the exits. Oh, and then someone will drop a precious artwork/cookie/Barney/necklace which would mean another round of opening doors and retrieving said item.
After all this we pull away from their school and drive to Daniel’s school, on a farm. Upon arrival I am not allowed to disengage seatbelts. I have to wait patiently until they let me help them and until the ladies have decided from which exit to alight and grace me with their presence. We then stroll the mere 10 metres to the gate and enter to collect their brother.
This is where it gets tricky. Because now I need to herd 3 of them to the car. Usually I don’t mind letting them play a little/water the garden/run around before we set off. Usually I manage to get 2/3 out the gate and leave the last one to run after us. Sometimes I just walk out when I have begged enough and they eventually get the message. Then at least one of them will almost disappear into the trees or fall down or trip or demand to bring a stick into the car. Or scream at a poor unsuspecting dog/cat/chicken/duck.
Today. Today was special. Today I lost my rag. After my usual schpiel I managed to get Daniel in the car and the girls were studiously ignoring me. So, before I could comprehend what I was doing I got in the car and drove off. OK, I drove about 20m down the road and you should have seen their little faces crumple. But I was too mad to laugh at the time. So, I stopped the car and they RAN and jumped into seats and were strapped in in about 3 seconds. I shouted, I was really, really mad and I asked them to be quiet until we get to the shops (about 10kms). Of course Daniel kept on asking how much further the shops were every 15 seconds. Which made me smile, but just a little.
They all got a really stern talking to, but it will be one of many I’m sure.
Let’s see how tomorrow goes.
Ps We ended up at a friend’s house where Daniel didn’t make it to the loo on time, so he peed in his pants and then said “for fuck sakes”. But that’s only because I said it. No Parenting awards for me today then.
you make me smile so dear lady. tomorrow will be better xx
God. I hope so. Mwah.
Ai, Tania. I do that dance with just one everyday and I say FFS a lot in my head. Can just imagine what you have to endure with three terrorists! AS I always say, YOU DESERVE A MEDAL, lady!
Tomorrow will be better! I do not know how you do it with 3 toddlers. You are an amazing mom!
Can I say, this too shall pass? Or will you klap me? LOL. But your kids are too gorgeous.. been looking at the pictures. Hope tomorrow is easier.
Actually you do get a parenting award – for being a real mum. It’s one of the many things I admire about you – you are a real person who is honest about the realities of parenting. You can laugh at yourself and this crazy, stretching-patience-to-the-limit thing called being a mum.
PS If you were a smug mummy who always did everything right, I probably wouldn’t read your blog! It would be far too intimidating.
Thanks for a stunning read…. so glad to see I’m not the only one who loses my temper some times… who shouts at times and curse in front of my child sometimes….. just wish I don’t feel so shite afterwards…he..he..he the joys of Mommyhood 🙂
Mother of the year!
Can just see the whole senario,geez they test us hey.
Hope today goes better
Wow, this is like the LWP times 3! The go-slow thing they have gotten down to a tee I see!
Lovely! 😀 I also dread the entering / exiting a car situation. Even more so if there’s more than one stop, as it seems to get progressively more annoying in proportion to the number of stops to be made. I like fetch & then home.
FFS is used a lot by both my kids. Ok, not Tristan – he knows now that it’s not nice to say it. So I get kakked out by him every time I say it.
We once joked with Zoe, and hubby drove off while I was still outside the car. The look on that child’s face was priceless and now when we go somewhere she scrambles like mad to get to the car first.
I can only laugh! The “go slow” strolls are the best, and Minki has perfected hers – head hangs low, feet dragging, arms dangling lifeless next to her body, then she sits down on the pavement to count dead ants, then a stop at the street vendor to lick an apple – drives me insane when all I want to do is get in the car, in-and-out at PnP and make a mad dash for home with an overfull bladder. Usually by then an “oh FFS” might have slipped from my tongue.
It is so good to know that I am not alone….I have come close to leaving the kids behind and can just feel that in the very near future I will be doing the driving off thing.
As for the swearing – everyday I tell myself today I will stop!! However, the fact that my 2 year old says “oh shit” everytime she drops something and my 4 year old screamed “bloody helll” the other day, indicates that it is not going so well.
Just wine thanks 🙂
Thank you Charlotte, that means a lot 🙂
Thank you Dinx, this morning was a breeze, so my shouting obviously paid off. And thank you for popping in and commenting, much appreciated!
LOL, if there’s one thing I’mnot it’s intimidating, my kids are living testimony to that 🙂
And thank you LL, means so much!
Sigh. The joys. Thank you for popping in 🙂
Much better, thank you Deblet, knew you would understand 🙂
Yep. It’s the go-slow that gets me. Every time.
I suspect I too will soon by crapped on for saying it by Daniel.
I felt SO bad, but let’s see how it goes today.. Thank you for popping in!
Maak my mal.
Usually I indulge them, but yesterday was just too much!
Shit is uttered in my house a LOT 🙂
Ek lag so lekker ek het amper van die stoel af geglip. Gelukkig is dit my wyfie se job om die gespuis by die skool te kry, en ek vermoed sy sal meer simpatie he….
Sy verdien ‘n medalje, dis nie vir sissies nie 🙂
Daniel reminds me of Donkey in Shrek “Are we there yet?”
Exactly!
Oh brother, what have we let ourselves in for . . .
Go on, have another one 🙂