Judging Mom

I was all amped to do a blog post about how Isabel stayed home with me yesterday because she wasn’t well and how brilliantly Mignon coped by herself and had an absolute ball.  I guess it’s hard to always compete for attention, even at school.  And then how Mignon was all clingy this morning and Isabel was just so happy to be back.  Children.

But, at school this morning there was a new little boy that looked absolutely distraught.  And we were there early.  So I asked the teacher who he was (I know, nosy me).  He’s new she says, first day at school.  And she hasn’t met the parents, only the helpers have. And apparently it’s his first time at a school.

Not one of my finest moments I know, but I did judge that Mom (ok, and the Dad a little).  I thought, who leaves their little 2 year old by themselves, in a new school, first time ever at a school?  Without even meeting the teacher?  Why not spend an hour or so with him to make sure he’s settled on his first day?

Then I started thinking, maybe the Mom/Dad had to start a new job today.  Maybe they had a really important meeting.  Maybe the parents are recently divorced.  Maybe they recently moved.  Maybe they had to go for emergency surgery this morning like a kidney heart transplant or something.  Maybe the parents both died in a freak extreme ironing accident and the Grandparents or distant aunt with warts on her face now is taking care of him. 

I found myself making up all these excuses because maybe, just maybe, that Mom sat crying her car this morning because she had to leave her precious son at a new school today and couldn’t spend the time with him to make sure he was ok.  Maybe she is spending the day worrying about him and about the fact that she wasn’t able to meet the teacher. 

The good thing is that he will be taken care of SO well at his new school.  But parental involvement is still required.  And I’m still trying not to judge, so please forgive me.

(And I might just end up deleting this post because I upset someone….)

17 thoughts on “Judging Mom”

  1. How quickly we all do this. We only have to look at the dreadful comments being made directed at the 17 year old who killed her baby.
    None of us walk in the others shoes,so it is natural for us to judge based on our own lifestyle and experience.
    As you have pointed out, it is not necessarily the way others live or experience life.
    Hugs. xx

  2. I’m sending some positive vibes to that little boy and his family, because you’ve made me realise that everyone can have difficult circumstances that others don’t know about.

  3. I had to drop my little 2 year old at school for the first time on Tuesday and it was hard. She cried, I cried and then I cried some more in the car.

    It is hard not to judge though when you know what you would do as a parent and how you would try and protect them from any hurt. Whatever their reasons, it isn’t easy to see any child in discomfort.

  4. I think upset little ones bring out all our mothering instincts and we just want to make things better for them. It does make you wonder where the parent/s is/are but there is probably a good explanation – I hope so for the little one’s sake. I try not to be judgemental but I often fail miserably.

  5. maybe, just maybe, she’s following advice from others that say she she should drop him off and leave before he sees her very upset and gets even more upset….
    Its so difficult though, cos I feel my mommy bear instincts come out too….

  6. At our school they ask you to leave as soon as possible as the kids seem to calm down much quicker if you are not there. Never the less, this did stress me out, but worked out well with no 1.

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