No

The first time I heard “No” uttered by Daniel when he was around 2 years old I was simultaneously filled with dread and fear and powerlessness.  Because up to then I had control over him, but he had clearly decided that he had his own free will.  How bloody inconvenient.

Over time I have come to be able to push those feelings into a little corner as you learn coping mechanisms such as making a game of it and pretending that is doesn’t phase you and it’s all fun etc.  Or I just make Etienne deal with it when I know I’m about to crack.

I kept Isabel home today as she isn’t well and my Mom came to fetch her for the afternoon.  I had to collect Mignon and Daniel and then drive to my Mom’s house to collect Isabel.  As I arrive Daniel’s teacher says he’s been ‘otherwise’ for most of the day, refusing to pack away work when he is done and just generally making a mess.  And I already braced myself.

I put him and Mignon in the car and he refused to face the front after much cajoling and begging (I mean, you cannot be seen to lose your temper in the parking lot of the school now can you?).  So, I ended up strapping him in facing out the back window.  And then proceeded to say that if he doesn’t turn around in 1/2/3 counts he will not go with to his Ouma’s house to collect Isabel.  He remained stubbornly unmoved, which of course made me feel all the more powerless and generally pissed off.  And people in cars were pointing and staring at the child facing the wrong way.  Oh the shame of it.

I then went straight home and waited for Etienne to come home so I could take Mignon and leave.  And that 7 minutes of waiting went something like this:

• Daniel, please bring your bag up from the car.
• No. Never.

• Daniel, please don’t make a mess in the playroom.
• No.

• Daniel, please close the back door.
• No. Never ever ever ever.  I’m not your friend! I don’t like you anymore!

To which I of course said ‘Just wait until your Dad gets home!’  (which of course, was exactly what my Mom used to say)

So, ‘No’ is probably one of the most powerful words in the world.  And the most hated by parents everywhere.

If he weren’t so damn cute and sweet most of the time he would have been in BIG trouble.

ps My most heartwarming moment of the day was the reunion between Mignon and Isabel.  They love each other so much and gave each other a big hug and a kiss after spending the day apart.  And then proceeded to have an argument about a doll dummy.  It never ends.