On feeling an age

I just loved this piece on how old people feel vs their actual age.

Over the last few years I have written often about my In-Laws and how young they are for their age (my FIL is 83 and my MIL is of undisclosed not-so-far-off age). I have written about a friend’s Mom (who passed away a couple of years ago) that was such an inspiration to me on how to live your life young.

Tonight I’m wondering how old I feel and I don’t really have an answer. What I can say is that the number 40 so far is a watershed. Yes, only 4 months in and already I’m smug about being 40, but hear me out.

All those years I desperately and spectacularly unsuccessfully wanted to be thin because then and only then would other people like me and therefore I would then like myself? Utter bullshit. I was stuck in such a cycle of self-pity and hatred.

Not feeling comfortable in my skin and having trouble expressing myself because God forbid someone won’t agree with me and therefore not like me? Such crap. I’m actually a nicer person now because I’m more real.

Chasing friendships that will never be reciprocated and compromising my other (real) friends in the process? So over that. You either want to be my friend or not, we’re not children anymore.

Bandying to politics in circles of friends and at work and talking behind people’s backs because it appeases my own insecurities? Guilty as charged, no more will I do this or tolerate it.

I find myself saying more and more these days that life is too short and it is SO true. The kids are only going to be small once, we are incredibly blessed with the people in our life right now. The rest really is just superfluous shit.

– Don’t waste your time on people that make you feel bad or lie to you, they will only pull you down.

– Take care of your skin, it becomes obvious at 40. My mother made me stay out of the sun and wear eye-cream from the age of 21, I only wish she insisted I wear neck cream too.

– You really can choose how you react to the things in your life that upset you. You are either a victim of your own making or a survivor – the choice is entirely yours.

– Love your lover. Show them you love them, every single day, in every possible way. Even if they pissed you off the night before. Just do it.

– Read books aloud to your kids and with feeling. I read Cat in the Hat aloud to the kids tonight and it was the most fun I’d had ALL day. Fair enough it was a spectacularly shitty day, but reading made it all better.

I know this got all rambly and preachy, it didn’t really start out this way, but trust me on this:

Live your own life, not the life you think you should have had or you think other people think you should have. Just be who you are, the rest will sort itself out. Promise.

And be kind to yourself. You’re worth it. Always. No matter how old you are.