I should be carrying on with my 30 days of truth, but need to take a break from that. And I need to get this off my chest.
This year has been a rough year. I made (what I thought was) a great decision to join a start-up company that went so horribly wrong I don’t even have words to describe it. Through circumstances and people that believed in me I ended up starting my own business and am juggling a number of commitments, some of which generate an income, all of which I am happy to do. And I am now in a much MUCH better place than a couple of months ago.
But, it wears you down and make you enormously tired to stay strong and positive and focused and productive. So, as Luddite Lass wrote earlier in the year, I had several little collywobbles this past month. Much crying and snapping and general un-easiness just in my own skin and knowing in my heart that I needed to do something drastically to improve my state of mind.
My 2 worst moments were:
1. crying in the car one morning and Mignon taking and holding my hand and
2. taking Isabel to the homeopath last week as she wasn’t well, bursting into tears and Isabel saying “Mamma, jy huil”
Up until that point I was under the impression that I was FINE. I had everything under control, neatly put into little boxes. In reality however I was an explosion (or a breakdown of monumental proportions) waiting to happen. So, I ended up making an appointment for myself with my beloved homeopath and she’s given me some stuff to sort me out as I really did not want to go the chemical route. And I feel 100 000 times better.
What I didn’t realise is how much my children also pick up on my emotions and state of mind as we were in the car yesterday morning and I laughed out loud at something on the radio and Isabel pipes up: “Mammy, jy lag!”
Which, of course, made me want to cry.
So, my dear delicious, fantastically special children, Mommie’s back, promise 🙂
Awww…Big, big hugs.
You are doing great and it’s going to be OK.
And yes, it is truly amazing how our kids pick up on our emitions and state of mind.
xxxx
ps…don’t you just love the word “collywobbles?”
Thank you 🙂
Love collywobbles, LL should patent it!
those children are the reason you work so hard and worry, you need to be a little kinder to yourself.
you can hear the love between you all from the kiddies comments. that’s worth more than gold
Dear, dear Tania, I’m so sorry you’ve been hit by the collywobbles. I really do empathise – been there, done that, got several T-shirts! I’m so glad your wonderful children could show you the reality before it got out of control. Our children are amazing little radars – D still says to me “Just calm down, Mummy. You don’t need to get so upset.” What are these wise beings doing inhabitating such little bodies?! So glad the homeopathic route is working for you. Hope you’re going to be able to take some time out over the holidays and just be. We really must talk about Kirstenbosch. Big hugs!
You are completely right, there’ so much love and they are SO worth it!
Thanks for popping in 🙂
I love the “just calm down Mommy” 🙂
We did the Noddy show at Vergelegen last night, I’ll post about it later, but WELL worth it! (I think the Claremont Round Table is also doing a Noddy show)
*shakes head* I’ll never understand women. Crying when sad, okay. Laughing when happy, okay. Crying again when the happiness is pointed out… 🙂
Hope your venture will go from strength to strength and with less and less worry!
We’re going to the Vergelegen Noddy Party next weekend. We all love it! We’ve been many times from when my nieces lived in Somerset West and were little enough to go and they are 20 and 16 now!
So, so sweet, thank you so much 🙂
Bet you have given up trying to understand us yet, have you?
It was AWESOME!
It’s scary when you’re so out of control your kids start telling you to ‘relax’ and ‘calm down’! Strange how we try to be so strong and not cry in front of them, and then they’re horrified when we do!
Glad to hear you have something from a homeopath that’s helping out! Think I should go that route too! I’ve given up on anti-depressants cos they make me nauseous, but the tranquilizers are the bomb! Just don’t want to get addicted!!
So nice to hear you’re laughing again – even if that makes you want to cry with happiness 🙂
I just absolutely could not do without mine telling me, ‘Stay calm. Stay calm. Dont worry, everythings going to be fine.’ in moments where my car doesnt want to start or I cant find my keys or or or…
They are little blessings which help us out of dark places & dont even know it 🙂
p.s. spoke to someone today who is pushing me towards the chemical route. “It’s amazing, couldnt do without it” etc etc. No! I refuse. So big up to you for keeping it au naturalle!
LOL, try Solal’s High on live for starters, Wellness Warehouse was cheapest here in Cape Town and find a homeopath if you can, it has made the world of difference in our house!
Want my homeopath’s number? ‘winks’
you reckon it works?
Then I’ll think of giving it a try. Xmas is coming up and all..
Well,here’s hoping that little Isabel says the words ‘Mammie jy lag’ many many many many times from hereon sweetie xxxxx
Sjoe,it is very stressful starting something new.
Glad you feeling better
Thank you 🙂
Definitely, will DM you details. And cheaper..
Mwah, thank you!
Yikes! SO glad you’ve been able to work through it and even happier that you’re feeling better.
Phew, so am I!
I am so glad that you are on your way back. You survived this very tough year, Congrats! Kids really watch us with eagle eyes and its okay if they see that we are also just human!
Big hugs, hope you feel better and better!
Oh jong! *HUGS* vir jou ook.
Voel self asof ding net nie lekker is in my vel nie
Huge huge hugs my friend. Please do yell next time mmmkay? So glad you feel so much better -!!!!! MMMMMMMMMMMMMWA
Thank you and yes, they do watch us constantly.
Thank you so much 🙂
Dankie Sumanda 🙂
Moenie los nie, sorteer maar eerder uit jongie.
Thank you my marvelous friend 🙂
{{{{{{{Tania}}}}}}}So glad to hear you got help and can enjoy things again. You need a break!
Such empathetic girls , aware of your feelings. Aw, bless.
They are so amazing 🙂
Yup, am forced to take one over Christmas!