The crappiest thing about depression and anxiety is that you lose the ability to notice and find joy in the small things.
It’s been a re-awakening the last few months, reclaiming the person that takes note and rejoices in the mundane. The person that sees the funny and embraces the joy. The person that feels, deeply, as painful as it sometimes can be.
On Saturday morning I noticed a beautiful, end-to-end rainbow lurking outside our kitchen door and I felt that joy for the first time in absolute ages.
I have a little list going of some of the small things that bring me joy:
- Sliding my legs into good, cool linen at night. Life’s too short for poly-cotton.
- Collapsing on our (newly covered) red couch.
- The feeling of a clean face at the end of the day. (I’ve never been able to go to bed with make-up on)
- When our doorbell rings and I know that, within minutes, our house will be filled with more love and laughter.
- Good wine and whiskey. (if you know me you will know that this does not require any explanation at all)
- Completing a crochet project, no matter how small. There is true gratification in seeing something you created.
- Going for a pedicure. (even though I battle to sit still for an entire hour)
- Our blood red front door. (Husband wasn’t too sure about this initially, but he’s over it now. Well, mostly)
- Finding the *perfect* red for said front door.
- Loud music and car/kitchen dancing with children.
- Rolling out bedrolls to sit on under our tree.
- Sharing the cool space under the tree with loved friends.
- When, collecting children from Aftercare, they slip slightly sticky hands into mine and we have full palm-on-palm contact. There’s no feeling like that touch, no words could ever explain.
- Being able to collect our children, collecting hugs and hearing all their stories, firsthand. It used to be completely soul-destroying to come home later and no-one wanted to talk about their day anymore.
I’m so grateful to be here again, it’s been a year with many hard lessons.
What makes you joyful? Do you seek to find the things that bring you happiness?