On managing expectations

I have had an (albeit a little late) epiphany.

When we have children we have conscious and unconscious expectations of how we want them to turn out beyond the obvious good manners/not a serial killer stuff.

We sometimes assume that they will enjoy (and be good at) the things that we did or could not do growing up.

My parents wanted me to have a degree because they never had the opportunity to go to University. We, unconsciously, assumed that our kids would want to participate in team sports and probably a truckload of other stuff we haven’t even realised yet.

Then, along came this beautiful soul that is our boy. He doesn’t enjoy team sports. It’s just not his thing. It’s a bit of a square-peg-round-hole thing.

So my mission is to learn to know our children as they were born and for who they are, not as we thought they should be because of our insecurities or history.

Thanks to the lovely Sally who introduced us to jiujutsu and to a lovely horse riding school in Durbanville, suggested by my darling friend Sue, I think we are now moving in a better direction for Daniel.

All I want is for them to enjoy whatever they choose to do. I want to cry every time I see their chests puff out or when they stand a little taller because they achieved something doing what they love. That look of joy on their faces is just spectacular.

So. If it means that they enjoy playing the ukulele whilst humming South-Sudanese love songs, well, I’m going to do my damned best to make it happen for them.

We have one job: find out what excites them, what they are passionate about and nurture the shit out of it.

Sermon over.

One thought on “On managing expectations”

  1. It s so true Tania – C loves his art, and his tennis and his chess. But is loving his rugby too. Although I think if we give him the choice to drop one thing it might be that. With A we had to deal with a headfast resolution not to play netball again

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