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In my post last night I mentioned a poem I couldn’t find, but I managed to track it down.  This is how I often feel about my marriage, except for end bit. (I read it to hubby)

If you can lay your hands on the whole video, do, you’ll never regret it.  It is called “Only you can make the difference”

What a Godawful day, I’m so happy (read: grateful) it’s over. And that it’s Friday tomorrow.

I had a serious wet-fish anti-smug slap against the head today, when am I ever going to learn?? First up this morning was our meeting with the girls’ teacher. In a nutshell, Mignon is missing her Mommy and she is very emotional at the moment and craving attention. To me this immediately translated to ‘Terrible-you-will-burn-in-hell-Mother’, so I spent the morning thinking over the conversation, trying to work through it. Yes, you can say it, Overanalyse.

Isabel is, well, Isabel. She seems to be the leader at the moment and slots in very well into the rest of the group and is participating and dancing and singing.

Then, after a harrowing morning (trust me, I’ll spare you the details), we had a meeting with Daniel’s teachers. Daniel’s meetings are normally quite boring. We love him, he’s doing great etc etc etc. Today, however was not one of those meetings. (just allow me to say at this point that when my husband reads this he will roll his eyes, but I’m the Mother. OK?) They had some observations about his upper body strength (not great), his posture (needs some work), and he’s just gone through some social changes (in the greater realm of girl friends vs boy friends and development). They even bandied the L word around. You know. L-a-z-y. Oh, the horror.

And for the first time it hit me that he really is his own person. And that Mommy and Daddy doesn’t have control over what he says and does 24/7. And that we can’t always protect him. And that we won’t always know when he is hurting emotionally. And I realised that this has been one of my biggest fears of being a parent: missing that they are going through something and not being there for them. No major gratitude here, maybe I should just be grateful that I care enough to worry, but then I’ll just be smug again, so I’ll just shut up and sip my wine.

Between Hubby and I we kind of fucked something up. Me more than hubby. It’s sorted now, but it caused a lot of stress today. I then remembered a poem that I heard on a video I saw 20 years ago when I was Matric. (Yes, I’m THAT old. And it was the year of Only the Best. You had to be there) The video was that of a motivational speaker called Leo Buscaglia. I was looking for the poem, so I Googled him, hoping I could find it. I couldn’t find the poem, but I did find some of his quotes. He made such an impact on me at that age, I am really grateful for the amazing teacher that shared it with us. That is what separates a normal teacher from a great teacher, the memories and the lessons!

Despite all the whining about children and my ‘interesting’ state of employment, this whole gratitude thing is working!  I feel happier and lighter and a lot more focused.  Weirdly.  And also a little like I could rule the world.  Which is not necessarily a good thing, because then I start leaning toward that thing I call “smug parenting”.  And as we all know, this usually comes back and smacks me squarely in the head.

Take, for example, the fact that only one of the children has been on antibiotics once this year. (Isabel, March, Pneumonia, 3 days in hospital).  And we had no snots for almost 2 months.  I attribute this to our commitment to going the Homeopathic route this year and using good multivites to boost their immune systems.  If you are interested, here is the list of the products we use:

Solgar Multivite for children- Cheaper than the Barney vites, believe it!

Solgar Vitamin C – Also cheaper by far

Respitron from Sportron – strengthens their lungs, so that whatever bugs they get don’t automatically go to the chest

Echinaforce chew tablets, 1 a day

I am very grateful we went this route, for many reasons, mostly because their immune systems are no longer being compromised by cycle upon cycle of antibiotics.  And, to be honest, it has been a lot cheaper!  (which, when you have 3 children, has a massive impact on your pocket!)

You might also be interested to know that, just because I have been bragging about this I now have 2 children down with the snots. 

Then, we cooked a real meal tonight.  Roast chicken, potatoes, vegetables, the whole bang shoot.  And the kids ate nothing.  Not a thing.  Ok, Daniel and Isabel nibbled at the chicken, but that was it.  As usual, hubby and I looked at each other, agreed on a plan and stuck to it.  I am extremely grateful that he always, always sticks to the plan.  It’s hard enough fighting with your children, you don’t still want to be fighting with your partner.  And it undermines the trust in your relationship.  (sorry, I’m sounding smug again aren’t I?)

Lastly, I am grateful for Skype and twitter and all things web-related that puts me in touch with friends far away.  It was so nice tonight to catch up with some great friends in Ireland that we usually only get to see once a year!

Please hold thumbs, tomorrow is Parent-Teacher meetings for all the children.  I’m having visions of being told my children are playground bullies or serial killers in the making.  Gulp.     

So, we (Mignon and Isabel) are writing this blog post.  We had a FABULOUS day and would love to tell you about it!

She mentioned that we have the snots, so she collected us very early and took us to our favourite place:  The Homeopath.  We always have A LOT of fun there.  Today was especially great as we took turns screaming, just for the fun of it, to see who could scream the loudest.  No-one won, but for some reason Mommy was a little cross.  Here we are, playing with some of the toys at the practice.

As we were leaving, Granny called, she is at a sale, please would Mom come?  So, off we went to the shop. Here we are having our sandwiches: ( in the dressing room, on the floor)

We then went off to Fruit and Veg where we practiced some more screaming before we got some dried fruit to nibble on:

When we woke up from our nap our brother came home and we had even more fun!  Here we are after re-organising the playroom and taking a break to watch some TV:

Later we did some painting and drew some pictures.  Here is a picture Daniel drew, Daddy on the left, Daniel in the middle and Mommy on the right.  Daddy says it looks like Dick.  Who’s Dick? 

Daddy and Mommy then had some red stuff in tall glasses, Mommy more than Daddy and she was talking.  A lot.  And pointing.  And then we had supper. 

We all sat very nicely at the table.

And finished all our food.

What is four fark sakes??  Mommy said this a lot today.

ps:  She said she was very grateful the day was over when she kissed us at bedtime.  3 times.

Herewith my Gratitude list for today, can’t believe we are almost halfway through the month!

1.  A friend and I were having coffee this morning and sharing funny stories about being Coloured and being White and everything in-between. She is married to a White guy and my cousin is married to a Coloured guy and we were having a good laugh about how our older folk perceive our relationships and friendships in this country. And we were sharing war stories about how our respective families have embarrassed themselves. I am really grateful that I am here now and that I’m not 80 and battling to understand this. And I’m grateful that I don’t have to apologise for my choice of friends like I would have had to 20 years ago. My life would be very empty!

2.  Daniel was chatting to DH in the bath last night and mentioned a child at school that upset him. The thing with him is that he doesn’t talk about emotions often, so when he says something like that we generally sit up and listen. I’ve never had to deal with anything like this and in the bigger scheme of things I don’t want to seem like the over-protective-terribly-hysterical-Mother-from-hell. But I couldn’t just leave it either, I knew we had to say something. So I chatted to his teachers this morning and they were really good about it. And they validated my feelings and really listened. I am grateful we chose a school where the staff really cares and our kids are very well taken care of.  And I understand that we can’t protect our children against the playground bullies, but hopefully we can give them the tools to put those bullies firmly in their place.

3.  It would seem the snots are upon us and Isabel has a nasty little cough she developed during the day. I’m sitting here half watching TV and half listing to hear if she’s ok. Funny how they always stay your babies in some way. I’m grateful that, if need be, I can keep her home with me tomorrow and just be a Mom. I don’t know for how much longer, but I’m enjoying it while it lasts!

Ps, please vote?  A big bone-crushing-bear-hug thank you!

I am really grateful for a sense of humour.  You need it with children as sometimes they really push your buttons.  My beloved son has this nasty habit of skipping through DVD’s.  You can put a movie on for him and 5 minutes later he’s standing next to you saying he’s finished.  And you can only imagine the complaints from his sisters when they are watching something and then he comes and skips through the whole thing.

Today I finally had it and threatened many hours on time-out should I find him skipping movies again.  I put Sleeping Beauty on and am trying to get through the previews to the movies and he pipes up: 

Mom, you are skipping!

Me (guiltily):  No, I’m not, I just want to get to the movie

Daniel:  Looks to me like you are skipping! 

Sigh.  All I could do was laugh and give him a tickle.

I’m also starting to wonder about the wisdom of putting him in an English school and speaking only Afrikaans at home.  I took him along to a baby shower yesterday and I was having a conversation with someone in English when he says, very seriously “you have to speak Afrikaans, you don’t speak English”.  We had a good giggle.

My In-laws came over for lunch today.  My FIL is turning 80 in January (my hubby was a ‘laatlammetjie’) and he asked me today to arrange his party.  I don’t know whether I’m flattered or flattened with fear.  Any ideas or suggestions of where we can have an evening function for about 25 people with ‘boerekos’?  I am really grateful there was wine with lunch today, I’m really nervous about this as he can be really full of crap.  Fair enough, he is almost 80. 

Lastly, I’m grateful we didn’t ask my MIL to make dessert after last time…(She brought a warm dessert with white stuff on that looked a little like feta, turns out is was margarine that didn’t melt.  Really) 

Hope everyone has a fabulous week!

On such a lovely, warm day, how could you not be grateful simply to be alive?

 

All my gratitude today is for my friends F and C who welcomed a brand new little girl to the world this morning. I am so grateful she arrived safely in your arms. I am grateful that she is blessed to have parents like you. And I am very grateful that she has such a special older sister who has been waiting very patiently for her arrival!

 

I am grateful that you have such amazing friends for so many years, we are lucky to know you and call you friends.

 

Can’t wait to meet her!

We had a kiddie party to attend at 13h00 today. Normally I try to avoid parties between 13h00 and 15h00 as it is the girls’ sleep-time. I am ridiculously anal about their sleep time. Also, it meant I had to collect them all 2 hours earlier. Which, in principle, is great, but have you tried to control 2 very tired toddlers? Not for the fainthearted!

So, off to the party we went, my 3 children being herded through the shopping mall games section (what is it with those places??) and arrived in true loud fashion at a pizza parlour. The idea of a kiddie party at a pizza restaurant is great, but the execution was a little disorganised. Or maybe it was me that was disorganised. The kids made their own pizza’s and were given ice cream on sticks for dessert. Something they never get at home due to all the allergies that live here. Which meant that they each walked around with ice cream dripping all over the show, until I intervened and confiscated them. I only ate one of them. For that I am grateful.

We then had to dash off to buy a baby-shower gift and I was downright nervous. It didn’t help that none of them wanted to climb into a trolley. In Pick and Pay the looks of horror were aimed at me today as I think I sounded slightly hysterical, like a defeated Mom.

Toward the end of the trip they discovered a strip of NikNaks. Another thing that does not darken the doorstep of our house normally, but I needed a window of opportunity to finish my shopping and felt that I could put my principles aside for this. Of course I made them all get into the trolley before I would give them any, and just as I opened a packet for Daniel and Isabel each, Mignon decides she needs the loo. So, off we went, me trying not to bang my head against a wall. (at this point I should add that Daniel said “God, help me”. But only because he was copying me)  Mignon was quick. I am very grateful for that J

The last thing I am very grateful for today is that my husband came home a little earlier than usual. He found me hiding at the washing line and his children jumping happily on the trampoline. And he has just poured me wine. Bless him. He can stay.

Phew.  Quite an gut-wrenching emotional day, completely out of the blue.  I happened to read a very sad blog this morning about a Mom that lost her baby, then a sad, but brilliantly written blog post about someone I knew that passed away recently.  And then Hopeful Mom’s post about Precious.  There are no words.

1.  I had coffee with a friend today that is due any day with her second baby.  We became friends about 6 years ago when we were both battling infertility and now our kids are in the same school and we have become really good friends.  We were discussing how far we have come and how much had changed in this time.  I am incredibly grateful I got my head out the sand and went for IVF.  Otherwise my life would be very different today!  

2.  School.  I was very, very grateful when the kids finally got dropped off at school this morning.  They had a whine-fest that started at 06h30 and did not stop until I don’t know when as it was still going on when I left them at school at 8h30.  Mignon won the whine-award for the day.  I eventually asked her: ‘Did you get out of bed on the wrong side?’  To which she looked at me solemnly looked at me and said:  ‘Ja Mamma.’  Sigh.  

3.  I am extremely grateful I was on supper duty tonight.  This is why:  (that, allegedly, was TV time)

May everyone have a fantastic weekend! 

A little bit of everything today:

1.  The girls have a little game they play at night. It’s called the sleep-avoidance game. It entails insisting that they need to make a poo just as we put their night nappies on. It goes something like this:

Sit on toilet

Drop one

Get off

Flush

Call Mom to wipe bum

Get back on toilet

Mom walks away

Drop another one

Get off

Flush

Call Mom again to wipe bum

Get back on toilet

Mom walks away to get more wine

Drop another one

Get off

Flush

Call Mom

Mom yells

My favourite nights are the ones where they are each in a bathroom and we get to run from pillar to post. Hubby pours the wine. I am very grateful for this.

2.  When it comes to making decisions about my children I haven’t really ever battled, but when it comes to work stuff I’m a real wuss. It took me ages, but I finally made a decision to walk away from something recently that I embarked on that was just not going to end well. There is only so much crap I can put up with. I was really worried about the way forward and what my worth is as a potential employee, and by definition, as a person. Because we often define our worth in terms of our jobs because we are (sometimes!) paid a salary. I had to force myself to stop doing that in the last few weeks and bloody hell it’s hard. But it’s cathartic. I’m really grateful I did.

3.  Lastly, I am really grateful that we had a sunny day today. The kids and I went off to visit Granny and Granddad and we took a walk to feed the ducks. We had a great time!

Here they are with Granny and sitting on the park bench.  (Mignon left, Isabel right)

No, I couldn’t get them all to look at the camera, but that’s no surprise by now 🙂