Tag: work

Work vs Home

At work yesterday I sent an email to a lovely friend that at the time seemed direct
without being bitchy and got a very nice response.

When I read the response and my earlier mail last night I was cringed as it seemed a lot
more bitchy than direct.  I’m happy with the message I wanted to get across because it’s about something that’s been bugging me for a while, but the words that ended up in the email were just dreadful and petty.  I hang my head in shame.

It made me think about whether there is a difference between who(m) (Dammit.  Neither looks right despite input from Twitter) I am at work and who I am at home.

The short answer is that there is.

The long answer is that for the first time since before being pregnant with Daniel I feel ok in my skin at work.  It’s been a long 6 (SIX!) years of not feeling clever/thin/sharp/committed enough at work as I had barely recovered from porridge brain after Daniel and I was pregnant with twins.  And then the ensuing tsunami of raising 3 kids with a 22 month age gap.

I’m not that chick that worked 13 hour days and then still went out to party anymore and I would rather be happy than have a job that stresses me out beyond belief.

I’m loving my job (if that’s ok to say?) even though it’s been quite an adjustment to work full day and I do feel like I hardly ever see my kids and I see it taking its toll on my relationship with them as well as on my marriage.  But I’m happier now than I’ve been in a long time, so I guess that counts for something.  I even carry the odd toothpaste and snot stain like a badge of honour.

It’s tricky to get the balance right between working and being all those other titles
bestowed upon us.  Having time to stay in touch with your old friends and making time for new ones and still do the odd thing you really enjoy in-between. (Minds out the gutter folks, I’m talking cooking.  And stuff)

It’s even trickier to get the balance right between being that go-getting-13-hour-a-day
gal and the mushy-please-just-love-me-Mommy person or seeming like you can pull
both of those personalities off at the appropriate times.  And then making the transition between the two in the 10 minutes it takes me to drive home each night.

Are you the same person at work as at home? How do you deal with different personas?  Or do you ignore it?

Just some random stories

  • My first day at work was fabulous.  Lovely people, lovely company!  I am also the proud owner of no less that 6 blisters.  I haven’t worn heels for longer than an hour in MONTHS, so I took the ‘comfortable’ pair of heels with as a back-up.  By 10h00 I was wearing them and by lunchtime I was buying plasters.
  • Isabel had a croup attack on Thursday night.  She’s never ever had croup.  At 01h30 we woke up to that barking cough and 10 minutes later I was at the emergency room.  They nebbed her and I brought her home.  Round trip: an hour.
  • On Saturday morning I had my hair appointment and clothes search for a make-over shoot this coming week.  I have never spent longer than 2 hours in a salon on my hair.  Normally I run in, they plonk the stuff on and 2 hours later I’m running off.  This took 4 hours. 4 HOURS.  The result:  a lot of blonde streaks.  My first attempt at blow-drying this morning was spectacularly unsuccessful so I’m dreading tomorrow.  So far I’m going to have a possible footwear fail as well as a hair fail.
  • Tomorrow morning is the first morning we have to mobilise the kids and be out the door by 07h15.  We used to let them wake up by themselves and saunter out the door at around 08h00.  I also have to get up a LOT earlier because now I have to a. Shower, b. Dry my hair, c. Put on decent clothes and d.  Put on my face before we leave.  Should be fun. (I’m making a mental note here to keep my sense of humor in tact, I might need it in the morning)
  • We also had a live-in domestic move in today.  It’s a lovely lady by the name of Sylvia who is undaunted by noisy children, mess and dogs.  She also didn’t run screaming for the hills when she arrived late afternoon just after friends had left us after a long and rather boozy lunch.  Which entailed several bottles of wine and almost all our crockery standing in precarious piles around the kitchen.  As we walk in the door I apologise for the mess saying we had friends that have just left.  Oh, she says, were they here for the weekend?  Whilst casting an eye over all the bottles our friends had left from a tasting, all in various stages of emptiness.  ‘cringe’
  • I’m slightly nervous for the night as Mignon has now also started with a croup cough, which I thought wasn’t contagious.  But according to the Great Oracle of Google it is a contagious as the common cold.  My Mother is on standby for tomorrow..

I cast a mental eye over my life tonight and even though there are some enormous changes at the moment it’s all good stuff (except the croup).  We are very, very blessed.

Stand by for more news..

ps: yesterday we saw a long bridal stretch limo with a bridal party in it, and as it passed us it had that tell-tale little dove (Doves undertakers) on the back window.  Hilarious!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow I go back to work full-day.  It’s my first job at a completely new company in almost 10 years and even though it’s a contract for now it’s still all new.  New people, new building, new route to work, new morning routine.  But I’m looking forward to the new challenge and all the people I’ll get to meet.

In the week that I’ve had to think about the change this will bring in our life as it is now I have come to quite a few realisations:

  • I instantly felt an extra rush of love/guilt for the kids.  Because as a working Mom those totally go hand-in-hand.  In some really weird way I’m looking forward to missing them.  Not that I don’t miss them during the day now, but this is different.
  • Emotionally I’m a lot better equipped now to deal with a full-time job.  The girls are bigger and they are with Daniel all day and incredibly well taken care of.
  • We have an amazing support structure.  We have Grandparents, friends and teachers.  We have the entire veritable village it takes to raise a child (or 3 in our case)
  • Maybe I’m just not meant to be a work-from-home kinda person be it right now or forever, but time will tell.
  • I have also realised that Entrepreneurs come in many shapes and forms.  You don’t have to have your own business to be entrepreneurial, you can be so within an organisation.  And that’s ok.  It was a biggie for me.
  • And lastly, this is something for me outside my family where I can make an actual difference.

I can’t wait!!