Category: The Parenting stuff

Some feedback..

I got some lovely responses to my questions about children and medicine yesterday here and on twitter and FB, thanks so much!  Here are my responses, please feel free to comment and add your thoughts.

  1. At what point do you medicate for a fever?  And what do you give for a garden-variety fever? We usually wait until the fever hits 38 degrees if the child isn’t unhappy before we medicate and even then we take it easy on the medicine, usually Panado unless we are really battling.
  2. When you get a script from a doctor, do you take all the medicine prescribed and charge it to your medical aid or do you interrogate question what everything is for and what it’s meant to do. We totally question every single thing on the script.  We had a paed that overmedicated Daniel so much and sent us home with a BOX of duolin once.  True story.
  3. Do you question the quantities of medicine that gets dispensed so you aren’t stuck with weird and wonderful stuff that just fills your medicine cupboard? We always check the quantities that are needed and confirm before it is dispensed. We will often ask for the entire script to be loaded and if we need the rest of the stuff we can always have it dispensed at a later time.  Otherwise a lot of money and medicine is wasted.
  4. Do you have MSA? (Medical Savings Account)  If you do, do you believe it is the best way to manage your medical expenses? We cancelled our MSA when the girls were born because our medical aid would have jumped with more than R1000 per month if we kept our MSA.  It’s the best thing we’ve ever done.  It forces us to be careful about the medical help we seek and the medicine we buy.  When there is a big problem and we end in hospital we are taken care of by our hospital plan anyway.  Win.  I would much rather have a cupboard full of homeopathic remedies than cortisone and other yucky stuff.

We each have to make decisions that fit into our families and we only want to do the best for them and it’s HARD sometimes.  This is why I love bouncing things off you so much.

Thanks!

 

Children and medication, a question

The latest in the Isabel tummy bug saga: Salmonella.  And another R230.00 worth of medication.

And no, it’s not about the money, it’s about the confusion.  First it was a tummy bug, then it was constipation and now it’s salmonella after they grew a culture for 48 hours.  And we would have known it wasn’t constipation had we only taken an x-ray.

Which reminded me of something I wonder about often: do we overmedicate our children?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m the first one to run to the doctor (more homeopath these days) with a sick child and nothing leaves me feeling more powerless than not being able to ‘fix’ a sick child.  But are we not creating sicker adults by wanting quick fixes to common childhood ailments by pumping our children full of medicine?

I also often wonder of the predicament doctors are in and the pressure us worried parents put on them to ensure our children get better sooner.  And whether this pressure doesn’t lead to more children being over-medicated as a result.  I grew up believing that doctors are the be all and end all, but since I’ve had children I have realised that they are also only human.

Consider this:

  1. At what point do you medicate for a fever?  And what do you give for a garden-variety fever?
  2. When you get a script from a doctor, do you take all the medicine prescribed and charge it to your medical aid or do you interrogate question what everything is for and what it’s meant to do.
  3. Do you question the quantities of medicine that gets dispensed so you aren’t stuck with weird and wonderful stuff that just fills your medicine cupboard?
  4. Do you have MSA? (Medical Savings Account)  If you do, do you believe it is the best way to manage your medical expenses?

These are some real questions we have had to deal with the last 5 years and we all just want the best for our children, but are we really acting in their best interest?

I’ll come back tomorrow and tell you what we do 🙂

 

Doctor Doctor!

I mentioned yesterday that we’ve been worried about Isabel’s stomach and by this morning we were really worried and waiting for the outcome of a stool sample I made my Mother get yesterday.

The Paediatrician’s rooms called this morning to say that the tests are back and there are no funny bugs, but to please bring Isabel in as they were also concerned about her.  And to bring a urine sample.

Which I completely forgot about of course until I arrived and was asked for the sample.

Have you ever tried getting a (sick) 3 year old to pee on demand?  Let me tell you, it’s not for the fainthearted. I dragged her off to the public bathrooms clutching the sample bottle and had to leave the cubicle open so I could plonk her down on the seat, go down on my knees and wedge in the little bottle at an appropriate angle.  And start begging.  I distinctly heard someone passing by and giggling, but I couldn’t turn around to glare at them as I was staring at my child’s vajayjay hoping for a drop of pee.

Needless to say it wasn’t very successful, so we (me) dragged our heels back to the doctor’s rooms.  No, he REALLY needs a urine sample. Thankfully they have a potty in the rooms so I proceeded to engage in promises of extended use of games on my phone.  And Volia! just enough drops to check that she was, in fact, not dehydrated as we feared.  Such a champ.

As it turns out she probably had a bug, but because we gave her medicine to stop the squirts it apparently uhm blocked everything.  Which apparently is pretty backed up anyway at their age.  So we were doing the complete opposite of what we were meant to be doing. (cue accompanying guilt trip soundtrack)

After the doctor’s I took her to my Mom’s house to drop her off, still not convinced that she would be ok, but Madam was having none of it today.  She’s not normally a very clingy child, but I think she just had enough of not being with Mommy or Daddy when she’s sick for the 4th day and she just cracked.  She literally cried hysterically and I just couldn’t bear to leave her again.  So I stayed and we cuddled on the couch for the afternoon.

So now she is pumped full of all kinds of things to make things progress a little more smoothly and we await an imminent explosion.  Pardon the pun.

Man, she’s really full of shit full of it. Okok, I’ll stop

ps:  Just curious, I’m very tempted to call the doctor that gave us the wrong diagnosis and let him know what the end of it was.  What do you think?  I don’t want to fight, I would just hate for someone else to go through the same as us.

pps: Here’s why I love Cape Town so much.  Pure autumn gold.

Autumn in Cape Town

 

So much to say

I don’t even know where to start.

Saturday was Daniel’s 5th birthday party and it went really, really well!

It was a fishing theme party after much debate and a little a lot of resistance from Daniel, but I’m glad I stuck to my guns.  I was torn between that and indulging him in the pink mermaid party but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it in the end.  I’m such a wuss.

I’ll let the pictures do the talking:

The table. Check out the littlest cupcakes, loved how they came out
The cake. I have mixed feelings about how it came out.

 

Daniel blowing out the candles

 

 

 

 

 

Each child had a fish cookie with their name on

 

 

 

Daniel very busy with sand art

 

 

 

As usual posing together was NOT an option. This is the closest we got to all of them together and almost the only pic where Isabel is smiling

 

 

 

 

Daniel 'catching' fish. My Mom made about 80 of these and each child got 3 and a fishing rod to take home. Absolutely loved them!

 

 

 

 

 

I’m also very worried about Isabel at the moment.

She’s had the squirts since Wednesday, which means that today was Day 6 of very little food and fluids and a lot of running to the loo.  I did take her to the doctor yesterday afternoon and he gave her some meds, but she was still not well today.

So I called the paed’s office this afternoon and they suggested a stool sample (which I made my Mom do).  Now we have to wait for the results.  But the paed is not happy.  We’ll see how the night goes and pop into his office tomorrow.  He was saying words like ‘hospital’ and ‘dysentery’.  These words do not please me.

I’m off to bed now, it’s been a long few days!

 

Slave labour

This will have to be a quicky, busy day tomorrow!

It’s Daniel’s party on Saturday and as usual I have more ideas than time. In other words my poor Mom is making a whole lot of stuff for the party. But there’s little time left, so I have arranged for Etienne’s folks to help. In other words, I have arranged for cheap labour to help make my son’s party a success.

They will congregate at my house tomorrow where they don’t have to worry about cleaning up and there is tea on tap. Don’t worry, they will be fed!

Ps: the girls are under the weather with some stomach/ fever thing. They must buckle up and get better, we have a party to throw on Saturday!!

Morning from hell

This morning was truly a morning straight from parenting hell. By the time I got to work I was feeling completely traumatised.

Daniel has a new habit of waking up at 5am. A habit that does not please me, not even a teenyweeny little bit. In fact, it is the epitomy (is that even a word?) of un-cuteness. The reason he woke up at 5 this morning was to tell us that there are now only 4 sleeps left before his party.

He then proceeded to attach himself to my expansive waist whilst I was dressing/blow-drying hair.

Maybe now would be a good time to mention that I am NOT A MORNING PERSON. I have to wake up in silence and not speak to anyone for at least a half-hour before I become even remotely human. So you can well imagine that this incredible show of affection was not well-received at 6 am.

Fast forward to 6:30 when we (read: Etienne) had to physically remove Isabel from bed. And she started crying and refused to gave breakfast. Whilst Daniel was doing his loud crazy bounce routine.

We (read: me) finally managed to get Isabel to sit at the table and eat her porridge. In what turned out to be the only 5 minutes she didn’t scream this morning.

She is not sick, I truly hope that she just woke up on the wrong side of the kitchen counter where Etienne had put her down. The alternative of a repeat performance makes me want to head for the hills.

And poor Mignon, who is normally the more ‘high maintenance morning child’ got dressed without the least resistance. I think she realised that Mommy and Daddy are about to lose it this morning.

I live in a zoo.

Mother’s Day Meme

Tanya Kovarsky,  Editor of the Living and Loving, had this meme on her blog this morning and I thought it would be great to do on Mother’s Day. Click here to visit her lovely blog.

My most embarrassing moment as a mom was when… I had to take our 3 children to the doctor because they were really ill.  The waiting room was packed to the rafters and they ran around like lunatics giggling and laughing.  And then Isabel made a big fat poo in her pants and I had to clean that up with the 4 of us huddled in a really small toilet with a really small basin.  True story.

The worst parenting advice I ever got was… when Daniel was about 6 weeks old my In Laws arrived unannounced one fine Saturday morning and he had been crying for ages.  My MIL suggested that my milk wasn’t ‘strong’ enough.  I was really mad.

The best parenting advice I ever got was… don’t get emotional when your kids don’t eat their food.  Stay calm and unruffled, but be firm about the consequences.  When you get upset you give them the power.

I wish they had have told me that being a mom… would make me feel so torn all the time.  I have spent far too much time and energy feeling like I’m not really good at anything anymore, least of all being a Mom.

My most frightening moment as a mom was when… every time we have to deal with respiratory stuff, most recently the Week of the Croup.  Scares the living daylights out of me when children cannot breathe!

My best mom blog is… I don’t read nearly enough blogs, but I love Shamozal and Tertia

The most awkward question I get asked as a mom is… are those triplets?

If I had to do anything over as a mom, it would be… I would play more and be more silly.  Not that it’s too late now, I just wish I started sooner!

If I could advise new moms to do anything, it would be to… not get stuck at a birthing or breastfeeding experience that doesn’t work out the way you wanted it to.  All that energy you spend worrying about being a failure will leave you feeling exhausted and stressed out.  It’s not worth it!

The “non-essential” items that became essential were… a pillow in a half-moon shape my Mom lent me for breastfeeding as I couldn’t get comfortable with those other pillows.  And when I was breastfeeding the girls I had two of them.  Best thing ever!

The products that make me look as if I’ve had a decent night’s uninterrupted sleep are…Bright lipstick!  And good coffee.

The things that have kept me sane as a mom are… Blogging, great friends, the usual Facebook and twitter.  And Etienne, because he is really good at pouring wine!

The one thing I’ll never do again as a mom is… trust doctors implicitly.  I would question more and I wish I had discovered homeopathy sooner.

I’d like to be remembered as the mom who…retained her sense of humor!

Motherhood has changed me because I’m… a lot less of a control freak (don’t laugh, it’s true!) and I’m a lot less judgmental.

 

Friday

So. Huddled in a corner on the couch on a Friday night. All I need now is a snack and some wine and life would be perfect. To be honest, I could quite happily go to bed now. Instead we’ll watch Graham Norton and the next thing it will be 11pm. The story of my life.

When I arrived home today the girls were already in the bath and I run down the passage to take over and they promptly dismissed me, preferring that the Domestic Goddess bath them. Gmpf.

Then Etienne shows me this:

20110506-084646.jpg

Apparently they sent cookies home for Mothers Day from school. They were finished by the time Etienne managed to get the kids to the car. Typical.

At the table tonight everyone is talking/laughing/whining/messing as usual and Isabel pipes up: ‘Mom, Daddy bought you a DVD today!’ Followed by an uncomfortable little silence. And Etienne shaking his head.

We then have a conversation about ‘Who ate Mommy’s cookies’ and Daniel says ‘But Daddy also has one in his tummy!’ He claims that he was forced to eat one. Right.

All this whilst trying to keep Mignon off my lap so I can have my supper.

Just a usual Friday night…

Insert post here

This is the space where my well-planned, well-written, witty and funny blog post would have appeared if I had the energy to write it.

It would have been a detailed report of how incredibly stubborn Isabel is (a little scuffle over supper last night) or how Mignon is so very, very attached to Mommy at the moment.

I would have told you all about how Daniel had a lovely birthday on Tuesday, he turned the big 5!  I will share this beautiful pic of him at Dros.  Not that I’m ever setting foot there again.  That place is gross.

Daniel contemplating his menu

This weekend we have our school’s annual nature walk and of course the big Mother’s Day on Sunday.

May all the Moms have a fantastic Mother’s Day and a special special shout out to all my Single Mom friends, your children are blessed to have you!

 

The Toothpaste Wars

Like all families we have our little routine at night.

We have supper, the kids that eat enough food get a ‘snack’ (a token, mostly little rice-cakes), we wander down the passage to brush teeth and then congregate in Mignon and Isabel’s room where either Etienne or myself lie on the floor with the kids and read stories.

Story-time is mostly a team sport.  Everyone participates loudly and calls out animal names, numbers and letters whilst at least one child is jumping on the defenseless reader.  Usually with knees to the kidneys.

But before we get to reading time we have to survive The Brushing of The Teeth.  I hate The Brushing of The Teeth.  This is not a team sport at all.  It usually requires much pleading and threatening before there is any participation whatsoever.

Take tonight for example:

Daniel refused to brush teeth.  Deep down I know it was a ploy for attention which I was just not able to give him at that very moment as I was trying to get the girls’ teeth brushed and get them sorted out.  So I put my foot down and did the whole “If you don’t come and brush your teeth this very minute you will not get a story”-thing.  Which you probably know is like playing chicken with a truck.  And once those words come out of your mouth there’s almost no way of changing your mind without looking like a total wuss and inconsistent parent.

So I did what any Parent would do:  I stubbornly stuck to my guns in the vain hope to retain some dignity.  Which ended with Daniel crying in his room because he couldn’t have a story and my heart breaking just a little.

I did go in and have a cuddle and a chat, but there was no story.  I explained why and reassured him how much he is loved, but I still feel like the Big Bad Wolf.

But did I do the right thing?  Was I too harsh?