Category: Uncategorized

I have really dragged my feet towards this post. Partly because I have this whole thing about not giving other people the power to make you feel like shit and partly because I refuse to be a victim and be all whiney about how ‘horrible’ someone was to me.

And then I took some time thinking about people that have I have allowed to treat me like shit because I didn’t value myself enough or because I have overcompensated in a work environment because I’ve had a reputation for being too straight forward.  So I allowed an individual to be that person.  But that is, thank goodness, no longer relevant.

There is, however, someone that treated me like shit recently and it caused the demise of a long-standing friendship that was probably in danger for a while.  I suspect this person thought I did something heinous to deserve this, I seriously have no idea what it was, which is what makes her behaviour even more baffling and hurtful.

She stabbed me in the back, belittled me and a much loved family member in a room full of other people on several occasions and then proceeded to unfriend ME and my husband on Facebook.  I appreciate that she has gone through a really difficult time in her life in the last year which she refused me to support her through, in fact, she used me as an emotional punching bag for a very long time and got very upset with me when I called her on it.  

So, in a way, when we got put together in the same room in a professional (snort) environment, she probably felt it was payback time. But she has caused enormous unhappiness and stress through her conduct to me and someone I love deeply and for this I am really angry.

I hate ignoring people in public, I think it’s juvenile and I don’t have the time or energy to do it, but I have had to ask myself if this person should have access to my life in any shape or form.  The answer is a resounding NO.

Do I miss my friend?  

You bet.  I mourn the loss of this friendship. I am incredibly sad.

Would I do anything to change the outcome?

No.  I choose to move on.  There are so many other people in my life that allow me to love them and love me in return, why should I hold on to an “abusive” friend?

When I first saw this I thought it was quite naff to be honest.  Because I was raised with the knowledge that you shouldn’t depend on other people for happiness or validation or think that other people will make it all worth it.

But, as we all know, was are not islands, so the first person that came to mind was my Husband.  Then my Dad.  For the longest time it was the other way around, simply because I wasn’t married all my life 🙂

I speak about them a lot so if you read visit often you’ll know why.  They are two enormously special people and they deserve ONLY the best.

This is what this is all about.  Just so you know 🙂

This 30 days of Truth is seriously getting in the way of talking about my delicious children, so for today’s post I’ll combine the two.  Because, besides hoping never to loose a child (like my Brother-in-law that lost a child and his wife in a car accident), I hope never to loose my family in any way.  I cannot imagine anything worse.

If I ever had to loose them I would miss

• Saying/singing/humming Grace 4 times before we can eat at night
• Taking turns blowing food cold. (Everyone takes turns with Everything)
• Reading the “Buffalo’s” Child before bedtime (Gruffalo’s Child)
• Cutting up fruit, putting it on one plate and sharing and having a cuddle after supper
• Watching Barbie “Renoster” (Barbie Pegasus)
• Trying to read a story to 3 wriggling children
• Adjudicating an argument with twins that share a room about having the big light on or off (besides the night light)
• Putting a toy dinosaur in a fish tank when the fish mysteriously die because it doubles as a night light
• I would actually miss waiting for 10 minutes in the morning because my son has decided he needs to make a poo just as we are herding everyone out the door.
• I would miss how wonderfully gentle and attentive and consistent and fair my husband is with them.  For all the reasons I love him, this is probably the best.

I hope I never, ever have to live my life without them, I am enormously blessed and eternally grateful for what we have. 

(I’m meant to do a 30 Days of Truth post, but this is just far more important!)

Daniel’s Pre-school had their annual school concert last night.

I enjoy the school concerts because:

• We know most of the parents by now
• It’s usually outside
• It’s quick
• It’s managed chaos
• It’s followed by a picnic
• There’s ALWAYS wine involved

This year was much better than last year as the girls are (obviously) a year older and they could just run around whilst the rest of the show carried on.  Also, Daniel didn’t pee on his teacher’s dress like last year, so it was already an improvement. 

He was a koala and after much stressing about his outfit he ended up with koala ears and a t-shirt with a koala printed on it that I downloaded from the interwebs.  When we were leaving the house we asked him to put shoes on to which he replied: ‘Koala’s don’t wear shoes.’  How can you argue with that?

As it turns out, I am one of those Mothers-from-hell after all.  (Oh stop it, I know there was at least a little gasp of utter surprise)

You know the type.  The type that elbows everyone out the way to get to the front, and then takes aim and shoots pics like paparazzi whilst waving manically, begging for her child to spot her in the chaos of other waving parental arms.  And shouts at her child when he doesn’t pick her out of the crowd quick enough.

Guilty as charged.

And, to top it all off, I got quite emotional when it was his group’s turn.  That might have something to do with the above mentioned wine, but he was just too cute, my little man.   

Here he is:

ps: He is wearing boots in this photo as they were doing a gum-boot dance at the end of the concert

Not sure what this is?  Please click here 🙂

I’m going to be selfish and make this ALL about ME.

There is a list as long as my arm of things I still want to do, mostly related to travelling around the world.  I want to see Alaska, I want to see the great wall of China, I want to follow the Tour de France in a camper van, go barging in France, see America, ag, the list is endless.  And of course I wish to do all of this with my family.

I have a dream of seeing the 7 wonders of the world, travelling to a destination once a year with the entire family when the kids are bigger.  Hey, a girl’s gotta dream!

But mostly, I want to walk the El Camino de Santiago one day when I have/make time.  It is also called the Pilgrimage and apparently it is a life-changing experience.  I have a friend that has walked some of it and said it was amazing.  The whole walk stretches for  between 780-900 kms from France to Santiago in Spain, depending on which route you decide to take.  If you want to do the whole walk they suggest walking for 30 days, 30 kms a day.  

Could you imagine walking 30 kms every day for a month? Could you imagine sleeping in a different place every night for 30 nights?  The amount of shoes you would go through?  And bear in mind that you would carry everything with you that you need.

Although it is traditionally a pilgrimage Christians make, a lot of people do it as a spiritual journey and I would probably fall into that category.  For now.

The other reason I am so intrigued is probably because of Paulo Coelho’s book, The Pilgrimage.  Well worth a read.

If you want to read more click here and here to have a look.

What do you think.  Should we do a MOB Pilgrimage? 😛

I’ve been MIA, things have been a bit hectic, but on we go!

Want to know what the deal is with this?  Click here to find out.

I have been pondering who I need to forgive for what and fortunately (or unfortunately) I don’t have anything really hectic that I need to forgive anyone for anymore.  

The really hectic family stuff is under control.  

The boyfriend I lived with that unceremoniously dumped me for a colleague and the really horrible ex-boss were taken care of by Karma (does that sound terrible?)

The ex-friend I am still really upset with I will cover in a later post.  But that’s more to do with me facing up to her than forgiveness.

It could also just be that it really takes a lot for me to harbour a grudge for a long time as I just don’t have the time or energy.  I sometimes worry that I miss lessons that I need to learn as I do end up overanalyzing my own actions, but not always those of other people.  But maybe the lesson is in the trying?

Ps: I sincerely hope this post makes sense as I have 2 toddlers and a 4 yr old vying for space on my lap and I have to avoid little fingers on the keys……. and not getting throttled by an overzealous hugger.  So much for blogging on a Saturday morning…

I wasn’t meant to do another post today, but I HAVE to share this!

It’s by Moms for Moms, go ahead, watch it, you won’t be sorry.

Click here for the video

And let me know what you thought..

Wondering what this is? Click here to find out and feel free to join!

Jeez, this is a hard one.  Because I have a list as long as my arm of things I have fucked up in my 37 years of being here.  And I want to keep the lynch mobs away from my door.

So, here goes.

I smoked through IVF, my pregnancy with Daniel, whilst I was breastfeeding and all the way until I found out we were expecting twins.  I know, smack me now.  Or unfriend / unfollow. Whatever.

I enjoyed loved worshipped smoking.  It was an office joke that I would never quit as I was a pack-a-day girl and would let no opportunity pass to justify why I used to smoke. I remember going to a Johnny Clegg concert when I was about 7 months pregnant with Daniel and asking a friend to walk with me to go and hide and have a cigarette, and I still got busted by a guy that crapped on me for being pregnant and smoking. (I remember cringing and wanting to give him the middle finger at the same time)

I vividly remember standing outside in the cold after breastfeeding at 04h00 in the morning and sneaking a cigarette.  (Yes, I really was that kind of smoker)

Yes, I only smoked about 4/5 cigarettes a day during my pregnancy and breastfeeding days, but still.  When Daniel used to get croup attacks I used to die a little inside every time, knowing it is probably my fault.  With his eczema and food intolerances I’m sure it is somehow my fault.

So, I have to forgive myself for doing this to my gorgeous son.

Now that I don’t smoke, I really am the world’s worst ex-smoker.  I can be on the one end of the house and my husband can be smoking outside on the other end of the yard and I’ll still smell it.  He knows not to come near me after he has smoked, it makes me want to puke.  I am THAT mother that herds her children away from people that smoke outside, I can’t stand it.  Mostly because I feel so guilty about it.

There, hate me if you must.

Just a quick family update:

1.  The puppy aka Jack

He has settled in really nicely and my dreams of having an inside dog are dashed.  He is just not that type of dog.  Maybe not such a bad thing, as he is also turning out to be rather large.  The girls are coming around, Mignon even touched him yesterday for the first time. (yes, it has taken all this time!) Isabel still enjoy shrieking when she sees him, but we just roll our eyes.

As you can see he is extremely comfortable: (he is about 3 months old by the way)

.

2.  The kids

Very well as always.  Dinnertime is more fun than usual at the moment as it is now a competition to say Grace.  Husband usually says Grace, but Daniel wanted to sing their song the other day and then Mignon and Isabel wanted to sing their own song.  So now Daniel sings, Isabel sings and then Mignon sings.  And then we eat.  Well, some of us eat.

Here they are at their Gran’s house on Sunday watching TV in her room.  They absolutely LOVE her bed.

Ok, off to bed, catch you all tomorrow 🙂

Wondering what this is all about?  Click here for the answer 🙂

To be honest, my gut answer was “my eyelashes”, but I have managed to climb out of my well of self-loathing, so after some introspection I came up with a couple of things thank goodness!

The thing I love most about myself is my honesty and directness.  In a weird way it has to do with being fiercely loyal to my friends and family in that I think that I owe them honesty.  I think I can sum problems up very well and can often see through all the crap and boil a situation down to the bare bones.

BUT in saying that, I refuse to hide behind “I’m only being honest” when I hurt someone’s feelings and I’m sure I have lost friends because of this without really knowing what I did.

The beauty of real honesty is connecting with and attracting other equally honest and direct people so that, when I am out of line, (which I have been and probably will be at some time) my real friends step up and say so.

And believe me, I have some truly awesome friends!