Many things I am

1 lost this past week, total of 3 down, 19 to go.  

Not as good as I wanted, but better than nothing! 

Went to the weigh-in with Daniel and he ran amok, trying to roll down the toilet paper whilst I was peeing (Daniel, please don’t roll down the loo paper!), blow out all their beautiful ambience candles (Daniel, that’s not a happy birthday candle, please don’t blow it out), opening the taps on their water cooler (Daniel PLEASE don’t play with the water), and so on and so forth.

The people at this particular Sureslim branch are lovely, but don’t get that my child is hecticly busy, I actually don’t have 10 minutes to attend a motivational talk or to chit chat about all the extra products I can’t afford, because we are in the throes of potty training and he might just decorate their lovely carpet.  Or the car seat on the way home.

He is such a fun child, even though he does treat me like his PA most of the time.

I was in Willowbridge on my way home this afternoon and just before I got to the car I realized I needed to visit the little girls’ room. 

I then thought, ah, I can go at home, but then realized what amount of chaos it would be with the girls pulling themselves up against my legs and Daniel rolling down the loo paper.  Sooo, as much as I hate public toilets, I did my thing in peace and could go home and launch straight into Mommy mode!

Good news:  2kgs down, 20 to go, YAY!!  I need to remind myself that it is going to be baby steps.

Great news:  Mignon is clapping hands at 10 months and 8 days!  Isabel is above clapping, I think she is going to be a Goth because she does some serious headbanging. 

We had a marathon Twinkle, twinkle little star session tonight with Daniel as lead singer and Mignon on clapping with Isabel doing the bopping.  Lots of laughs all around  :-)) 

Please hold thumbs, I’m going for my first weigh-in later this avie!  I had a really good Sureslim week and only had a cheat lunch on Sunday.

Even if I didn’t lose any kilos I can feel the difference and my bloated stomach is gone after a week of no wheat and no milk – the difference is amazing!! 

I didn’t actually think I’d be able to do this, it helps that I didn’t entertain any clients this week, let’s see how next week goes!  I even managed to say no to a special coffee one of my colleagues ordered without asking.  I think that alone is worth half a kilo!!!

 

Isabel left and Mignon right help Daniel in the bath.  Mmmm

Look at the audience!

Rushing like a maniac out of town to get home in time to drop nanny off at her bus, hubby called and said he had to work a little later, could I get to the shops for supper.

I then called the live-in and suggested that we take the 3 kids and go to the shop quickly – something I have never asked her to do, but the girls needed to get out of the house and I cannot do grocery shopping with a twin pram and a toddler running amok in Pick and Pay, no matter how good the staff are at Willowbridge PnP!  She then says ah, she doesn’t feel like going to the shop and I ground my teeth and kept quiet.

I then thought, bugger this, hubby can meet me at the shop screw her, so I get home and get presented with yet another shopping list.  And. I. Lost. It.

So we had ourselves a nice little chat about who eats what when and what I am prepared to buy when and what our current financial situation is.  I think the problem is our live-in, who is a little younger and quite pushy and has been with us since Aug 08.  The nanny, who has been with us for 2.5 years then tells me that live-in demands that she shares all the leftover food for lunch.  Which was not the rule to start off with, as we let her take the leftovers home to her kids as I don’t think her kids eat very well.

So, necks are now firmly wound back in, myself included, and life carries on.  If they want to hold grudges they need to find themselves jobs where they are going to be as well looked after.

Did I mention I am a little premenstrual??

Please tell me if I am mad or being taken for a ride!
 
We have 2 domestic staff, 1 for the 3 children (travels in every day) and 1 for the house primarily and to assist with the kids in the avie (live-in).  They are both lovely and a real asset to our family.  Daniel goes to school half day and the girls are at home.

I actually hate telling people I have 2 domestics, it’s really not because I’m spoilt, its the only way we manage and it actually was the cheaper option at the time.

I don’t think that we are “snoep”, they are very well paid and well fed, the nanny goes to the clinic once a month and to get grant money also once a month – this is 2 days that she comes in late that we don’t deduct money, but it impacts on our jobs.  They each received a 13th cheque in December, even though I probably won’t get a bonus this year and hubby might get a “tip” in April.

We cook supper every night and feed the live-in and leave a full meal for the day-nanny for the next day.

A couple of examples of things that are annoying me at the moment:

A while ago I posted a choc cake recipe that has Amazi in.  I had some Amazi left and said they could use it, I’ll get them some mealie meal.  I then buy the mealie meal and get told its not the right brand, I have to buy another, more expensive brand.  The next day I had Amazi and mealie meal on the shopping list.  The next week I get a request for the 2 litre Amazi as the 500ml is not enough.  They cook HUGE bowls of the stuff and eat it for lunch.  It has now transpired that the nanny eats the meat we cooked the night before FOR BREAKFAST.

We also always make sure that they have Oros in the house and this used to last about a month.  I then get a request for “Wild Island” – almost double the price.  We buy a bottle.  A week later it is finished and its back on the shopping list.

The amount of milk, sugar, cereal, chutney, tomato sauce, tea etc we go through is also astounding.  I bought a box of oats for my diet which they asked if they could use yesterday morning and almost half the box is gone!

The rule is that they can watch tv in the afternoons whilst the kids are sleeping, but no tv otherwise because I don’t want my kids exposed to so much tv, not because I’m being funny.  I get home a little earlier the other avie and the tv is on.  Needless to say I switched it off immediately.

Whenever there is anything left we give it to the nanny that travels as she has children at home and is the sole breadwinner.  Whenever I come across a sale I buy something for each of their kids – 4 kids in total.  It’s almost as if the nanny that doesn’t travel eats only when she is with us and not at home, hence the overeating.

I’m just reaching the stage now where I think it is getting out of hand, but as a working mother you are so guilt ridden and I almost feel like I am held at ransom and have to deliver what they want.  I think I’m quite a generous person, but at the moment I think they are taking the piss.

I also wonder whether I don’t maybe, on some level, resent them for being able to be with my babies the whole day whilst I have to work.

Any suggestions on how I can deal with this or even whether I am just being silly??

I never thought I would clean up vomit/poo
I never thought that I would survive sleep deprivation
I never thought that I would be able to get up at 06h00 in the morning when I didn’t absolutely have to and actually enjoy it. 
I never thought I would sit with 1 child on my lap whilst feeding 2 more in their chairs! (the rule is that the girls each get 2 bites of porridge and Daniel then gets 1, otherwise he doesn’t eat his supper)
I never thought I would have twins
I never thought I would breastfeed – let alone breastfeed twins
I never, never thought I would want to give up my job and stay home with my kids.  My career has always been extremely important to me.
I never thought I would be so adept at not stepping on small toys strewn across the kitchen floor.  It’s almost like you have a sixth sense for where the sh1t is.
I never thought that buying myself a bunch of flowers is much less important that buying something for the kids – and I LOVE flowers.
Lastly, I never thought that I had the capacity to love my husband and children as much as I do!

Feel free to add, I’m sure I forgot many things!

 

 

Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house, Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I’d nibbled, the chocolate I’d taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber), I’d remember the marvellous meals I’d prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.” As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt… I said to myself, as I only can, “You can’t spend a winter, disguised as a man!” So, away with the last of the sour cream dip. Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip. Every last bit of food that I like must be banished Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick. I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie. I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore… But isn’t that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

I have a confession to make:  I have not lost any weight since having the girls and have actually gained another 7 kgs (aarrgghh!!!)

I have 2 months to go as they are 10 months old today and have decided to re-join Sureslim.  I lost about 10 kgs a few years ago and it has been the only diet that has ever worked for me.  I get irritated having to count points and can’t keep up with all the things you have to eat on Weigh Less (I also had a shocking experience with them before I joined Sureslim, will never go back to them!)

So, I’m going to get a new eating plan and I want to lose at least 10 of the 20 kgs I need to lose by the time the twins are 1 year old in March.

I managed to lose 10kgs in a month last time, but think I need to be reasonable about it this time, so am giving myself 2 months to lose 10 kgs.  If I can quit smoking, I can quit binge eating. 

My problem has always been that I need a “crutch”, so does anyone have any suggestions ito a healthier “crutch”?  Also, I wish I had time to get back to yoga, just so I can do something for myself and to manage my stress so I can get rid of the spastic colon and the ulcer.

Any ideas how you super mommies get to spend some time by yourself that is not between midnight and 2am??

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not freaked or anything, but I do realize that I will be a much happier person and a better mom and employee when I feel better about myself.  I have promised myself that I will find another job, but I have now realized that I will keep dragging my heels until I feel better about myself.  Working in Recruitment I know how I would feel about interviewing someone that looks like me at the moment!