Author: Tania

Rushing like a maniac out of town to get home in time to drop nanny off at her bus, hubby called and said he had to work a little later, could I get to the shops for supper.

I then called the live-in and suggested that we take the 3 kids and go to the shop quickly – something I have never asked her to do, but the girls needed to get out of the house and I cannot do grocery shopping with a twin pram and a toddler running amok in Pick and Pay, no matter how good the staff are at Willowbridge PnP!  She then says ah, she doesn’t feel like going to the shop and I ground my teeth and kept quiet.

I then thought, bugger this, hubby can meet me at the shop screw her, so I get home and get presented with yet another shopping list.  And. I. Lost. It.

So we had ourselves a nice little chat about who eats what when and what I am prepared to buy when and what our current financial situation is.  I think the problem is our live-in, who is a little younger and quite pushy and has been with us since Aug 08.  The nanny, who has been with us for 2.5 years then tells me that live-in demands that she shares all the leftover food for lunch.  Which was not the rule to start off with, as we let her take the leftovers home to her kids as I don’t think her kids eat very well.

So, necks are now firmly wound back in, myself included, and life carries on.  If they want to hold grudges they need to find themselves jobs where they are going to be as well looked after.

Did I mention I am a little premenstrual??

Please tell me if I am mad or being taken for a ride!
 
We have 2 domestic staff, 1 for the 3 children (travels in every day) and 1 for the house primarily and to assist with the kids in the avie (live-in).  They are both lovely and a real asset to our family.  Daniel goes to school half day and the girls are at home.

I actually hate telling people I have 2 domestics, it’s really not because I’m spoilt, its the only way we manage and it actually was the cheaper option at the time.

I don’t think that we are “snoep”, they are very well paid and well fed, the nanny goes to the clinic once a month and to get grant money also once a month – this is 2 days that she comes in late that we don’t deduct money, but it impacts on our jobs.  They each received a 13th cheque in December, even though I probably won’t get a bonus this year and hubby might get a “tip” in April.

We cook supper every night and feed the live-in and leave a full meal for the day-nanny for the next day.

A couple of examples of things that are annoying me at the moment:

A while ago I posted a choc cake recipe that has Amazi in.  I had some Amazi left and said they could use it, I’ll get them some mealie meal.  I then buy the mealie meal and get told its not the right brand, I have to buy another, more expensive brand.  The next day I had Amazi and mealie meal on the shopping list.  The next week I get a request for the 2 litre Amazi as the 500ml is not enough.  They cook HUGE bowls of the stuff and eat it for lunch.  It has now transpired that the nanny eats the meat we cooked the night before FOR BREAKFAST.

We also always make sure that they have Oros in the house and this used to last about a month.  I then get a request for “Wild Island” – almost double the price.  We buy a bottle.  A week later it is finished and its back on the shopping list.

The amount of milk, sugar, cereal, chutney, tomato sauce, tea etc we go through is also astounding.  I bought a box of oats for my diet which they asked if they could use yesterday morning and almost half the box is gone!

The rule is that they can watch tv in the afternoons whilst the kids are sleeping, but no tv otherwise because I don’t want my kids exposed to so much tv, not because I’m being funny.  I get home a little earlier the other avie and the tv is on.  Needless to say I switched it off immediately.

Whenever there is anything left we give it to the nanny that travels as she has children at home and is the sole breadwinner.  Whenever I come across a sale I buy something for each of their kids – 4 kids in total.  It’s almost as if the nanny that doesn’t travel eats only when she is with us and not at home, hence the overeating.

I’m just reaching the stage now where I think it is getting out of hand, but as a working mother you are so guilt ridden and I almost feel like I am held at ransom and have to deliver what they want.  I think I’m quite a generous person, but at the moment I think they are taking the piss.

I also wonder whether I don’t maybe, on some level, resent them for being able to be with my babies the whole day whilst I have to work.

Any suggestions on how I can deal with this or even whether I am just being silly??

I never thought I would clean up vomit/poo
I never thought that I would survive sleep deprivation
I never thought that I would be able to get up at 06h00 in the morning when I didn’t absolutely have to and actually enjoy it. 
I never thought I would sit with 1 child on my lap whilst feeding 2 more in their chairs! (the rule is that the girls each get 2 bites of porridge and Daniel then gets 1, otherwise he doesn’t eat his supper)
I never thought I would have twins
I never thought I would breastfeed – let alone breastfeed twins
I never, never thought I would want to give up my job and stay home with my kids.  My career has always been extremely important to me.
I never thought I would be so adept at not stepping on small toys strewn across the kitchen floor.  It’s almost like you have a sixth sense for where the sh1t is.
I never thought that buying myself a bunch of flowers is much less important that buying something for the kids – and I LOVE flowers.
Lastly, I never thought that I had the capacity to love my husband and children as much as I do!

Feel free to add, I’m sure I forgot many things!

 

 

Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house, Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I’d nibbled, the chocolate I’d taste At the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber), I’d remember the marvellous meals I’d prepared; The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared, The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.” As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt And prepared once again to do battle with dirt… I said to myself, as I only can, “You can’t spend a winter, disguised as a man!” So, away with the last of the sour cream dip. Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip. Every last bit of food that I like must be banished Till all the additional ounces have vanished. I won’t have a cookie, not even a lick. I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick. I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie. I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry. I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore… But isn’t that what January is for? Unable to giggle, no longer a riot. Happy New Year to all, and to all a good diet.

I have a confession to make:  I have not lost any weight since having the girls and have actually gained another 7 kgs (aarrgghh!!!)

I have 2 months to go as they are 10 months old today and have decided to re-join Sureslim.  I lost about 10 kgs a few years ago and it has been the only diet that has ever worked for me.  I get irritated having to count points and can’t keep up with all the things you have to eat on Weigh Less (I also had a shocking experience with them before I joined Sureslim, will never go back to them!)

So, I’m going to get a new eating plan and I want to lose at least 10 of the 20 kgs I need to lose by the time the twins are 1 year old in March.

I managed to lose 10kgs in a month last time, but think I need to be reasonable about it this time, so am giving myself 2 months to lose 10 kgs.  If I can quit smoking, I can quit binge eating. 

My problem has always been that I need a “crutch”, so does anyone have any suggestions ito a healthier “crutch”?  Also, I wish I had time to get back to yoga, just so I can do something for myself and to manage my stress so I can get rid of the spastic colon and the ulcer.

Any ideas how you super mommies get to spend some time by yourself that is not between midnight and 2am??

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not freaked or anything, but I do realize that I will be a much happier person and a better mom and employee when I feel better about myself.  I have promised myself that I will find another job, but I have now realized that I will keep dragging my heels until I feel better about myself.  Working in Recruitment I know how I would feel about interviewing someone that looks like me at the moment!

I had a friend and her boys over for tea this morning and of course there were snacks, so come lunchtime Mr Daniel wanted nothing to do with his lunch (spaghetti), I even tried to entice him to sprinkle his own cheese over which he normally loves doing.

He didn’t even sniff his food and then proceeded to ask for a yogurt.  Well, I was finished.  We then said to him that if he doesn’t eat at least 3 bites of his food, he won’t get a yogurt and he won’t get an afternoon snack (normally dried fruit or something similar).

He clearly did not take us seriously and was VERY upset with us when we produced his untouched lunch instead of a snack when he asked for it.

We decided to bite the bullet and had a ROUGH few hours, but when suppertime came we made him some fish fingers and rice and salad and he polished his plate with a smile.  He was awarded with the much treasured yogurt.

Parents 1:Daniel 54 677

I often look at my almost 10 month old identical twin girls and think that they could put an end to the nature vs nurture debate. 

Here is why:
Mignon loves people and is a very friendly and outgoing baby, whilst Isabel cries at the sight of anyone she doesn’t see often and even then they need approach her with care.
Mignon loves animals and is not fazed by our dog or cat in her vicinity, whilst Isabel is absolutely petrified of the animals.
Mignon is going to be the shrieker and babbles away the whole day, whilst Isabel does this Darth Vader sound which makes me laugh every time.  Isabel does chat, but not on the monumental scale that her sister does.
Mignon is fearless and just puts her head down and goes for it, whilst Isabel tends to sit back and suss things out first.  She is definitely more of an analyst.
Mignon will eat almost anything, whilst once again her sister does not like to dirty her hands, so finger foods are not very high on her list.  They are however both very good eaters (at the moment)
But, the funniest was to watch them on the beach.  Mignon went mad in the sand, I think we are still finding sand in strange places.  Madam Isabel on the other hand wanted nothing to do with with the sand, we had to put her back on the towel before she was happy. 

I am really glad that they are so different, it makes them each even more special!

Funny little people 🙂   

We often battle to get Daniel, our 2 yr and 8 mnth old boy, to eat, but decided that this was not a battle we were going to “choose”.  We prefer fighting with him about not hitting his baby sisters, not throwing things at them etc.

As a result, we opted to be consistent with eating times, trying to eat together as a family most meals and to offer him what we eat.  We also try not to push him too much, but applaud when he does eat.  He also knows that he cannot get dessert if he doesn’t eat at least some of his food, so is aware of the boundaries.  We try to stay away from too much bread and luckily he enjoys salads and fruit.

This afternoon I was making lasanga and told him all about it, he rinsed off the mushrooms for me (until the splashing in the small bowl became a little too hectic of course!), helped ladle the mince and white sauce into the dishes, helped pack the sheets, sprinkle the grated cheese over (and patting it down of course) etc etc etc.  I actually enjoyed it as much as he did and it was quite a fun thing to do with him.

We even asked him what he was having for supper beforehand and were rewarded with “lasana”.  So, when we then did sit down to supper and mister decided that he wasn’t even going to have A SINGLE bite, I was finished.  I really try not to take this personally, but sometimes I can’t help it.  I refuse to offer him other food like bread if he hasn’t even tried the food made for him.  And it’s not like we’ve never offered him lasanga. 

So, we didn’t make an issue about it, but now he has gone to bed without eating anything tonight and it breaks my heart.  We were just very firm about the fact that, because he didn’t even try his food, he cannot get anything else.  He is a real Taurus, not even saying that he can have the yogurt he asked for if he takes 2 bites of his food will sway him.  Bugger. 

Are we doing the right thing?  Or are we bad parents?

What bliss when both our Nannies arrived for work on Monday after 2 weeks of no help.  I was ill, so hubby could simply hand over the 3 little ones and was back in bed by 7h45. 

Yes, 2 nannies and no, I’m not spoilt, just working Mom to 3 kids under the age of 3 🙂

We managed ok for the most of it, but the amount of washing and cleaning to do is astounding.  And the nappies.  And feeding everyone.  And the dishes.  Thank goodness for dishwashers!

BUT, we got to spend serious time with our kids and rediscover them all over again.  They are amazing, each one of them and I love them each differently.  Last year this time I was pregnant with the girls and this is something I wondered about a lot: how could I possibly love 2 more children as much as I already loved my boy.  So, if there is something I learnt last year is our capacity to love our children, each for their own qualities.

May everyone have a wonderful 2009 and happy blogging!

As family holidays go this one wasn’t too bad.  My Brother and Sister-in-law built a house in Arniston last year (a magnificent one at that) and we got the nod to go and stay for a few days.

I’m always mindful of the following as things can go pearshaped very quickly…
–  not to yell at their children
–  not to flinch every time their kids demolish my kids’ toys
–  to do the dishes and clean the kitchen
–  to jump up and keep the babies quiet when they wake up at 06h00 in the morning so as not to wake the other people in the house
–  not to yell at darling dearest husband when he is smoking and drinking with his brother and generally being in lala land when I have 3 kids demanding my attention whilst trying to cook supper for A LOT of people
–  not to whine when 4 adults smoke in the house with my children around.  I really had to bite my tongue with this one as it generally is one of my pet hates.  I eventually got hubby to suggest that it was really nice outside for the smokers.  (it was actually raining at the time, this really made me laugh)
–  to remember to make the beds the minute I lift my arse in the morning, otherwise my SIL will have done it by the time I have gone for a pee.
–  that I really didn’t want to go to the beach and preferred to stay home with the sleeping babies whilst trying to pack everything up so we can chuck our stuff into the car and do the mad dash home whilst the kids have their afternoon nap.  Not.

It probably sounds like I’m complaining, I’m not really, just some thoughts.  I go into overdrive when I am not in control of my environment and sometimes tend to over-compromise when I am in someone else’s space, but hats off to my SIL, she made it quite easy for me.

It’s also amazing that you don’t have time to ponder too much on how good or bad a guest you are when you trying to keep your oldest from biting his cousin…